6.12- Sutherland Children Are Stupid

6.12- Sutherland Children Are Stupid

F*CKIN' HELL that's a SERIOUS attack of bad CC!

Sorry DERECK.

(Seriously why Dereck? Who spells it like that?)



Did you? Who the heck cares, Ashby? Go prepare for your baby.



(Place: Goth house)

Destinee: I said Auntie Des's kid was going to be the best...not kids.

Madalyn: OK. What code will Madison not guess?

Rachel: Why are you locking it?

Madalyn: Because my other daughter is insane, Rachel. And now she's a child...she can do the stairs herself. Holy shit-

Destinee: Well. You have fun, Madalyn.



Dammit Summer.

Just age up.



WTF Liberty.

That's not how you spell Jennifer.

Forgot Kale had this kid. Well, that's a two-fer for you, Kale.



Hi teen Summer!

Awkward face you have there. She's super-pretty though.

She's Jealous now, with the Party Animal Aspiration.



Katarina: Hurry up kid...Momma wants her cheques.

Under the weird grey-black hair and sunglasses, Katarina is actually really pretty. So she got made-over.



Think something got mixed up here.

Daya: I'mma write 'for stabbing!'

You do you, Daya. You do you.



Glass: This isn't so bad...

Yeah, you hung onto your YA stage for WAY too long, Missy. Now you're an adult!

Glass: And Q is like, halfway to elder.

NO REMINDING >:(!



The next morning...

Quinton: Why are you making me eat food that smells like tape and lighter fluid?

Sorry, but even Daya's cooking can't go to waste around here.



Glass's fourth outfit was updated. They all were. You'll probably see them.



Summer: Piece of wood...you are mine to control now.

...

Summer: HEY! Don't give me SHIT! BEND AND BOW, bitch!



Daya:...I call it duckface 2.0.

Your faces are always amusing. Something about Daya's little pouty lips and high cheekbones just make her face go extreme...



What happened to Elin's name?

Elin: Still me, bitches. And wow Glass. You got old real quick.

Glass: What the- no, that's - just because you're still young, Elin!



Quinton: Heeeeya. You look like you need a friend.

Paolo: Um...no. Please stop talking to me.

Quinton: Well, sure you do! I'm Q, who are you?

Paolo: That's classified.

This is what happens when I run out of things for Q to do.



Quinton: And there's Margot and Daya, with their little sister, my youngest Summer, and some packing boxes...and there's my wife! She's amazing even when she's screaming and clawing at a tree. And there's Ashby, the eldest.

Paolo: Who's the boy?

Quinton: Nobody cares, Paolo.



It's another Crop Top Dude! We haven't had one of these in forever!

Colt: Yeah well...what Annabel doesn't know won't hurt her, and I think I saw her trying on her old cheerleading skirt.

So?

Colt: So in conclusion I can do whatever the f*ck I like.



Paolo: If I'm going to be harassed by the Blue Man, I get a drink.



Anvi: I'm a CAT, on the prowl! SO LONG SUCKERS

Ana: What?

Bob: Eh.



Paolo: Wow. Your booze is like...bad. Really bad.

Well you're the one that used it! Dumbass.



Paolo: Yeah,  I made me and Jade...too bad she married that dumbass Lexie...

So you're basically her side hoe?

Paolo: Well...just shut up, OK?

>:) No.



Summer: HEY! Quit trying to suck up to me, you little bitch! I'm terrified of tape because of you and Margot!

Daya: But...you don't fit in a standard crate anymore, and I ain't paying for a larger one...so we cool, we cool!

Summer: WE'RE NOT FRIGGING COOL!



Daya: Well....screw you then. Don't like you that much, and I could always get a loan...

Summer: UGH, why I oughta-



Level 5 baby! Well done Glass. I don't think anyone else got this far this early.



Glass: Stay. Away. From. Vampires!

Summer: Um. Vampires? Bit early to go senile, isn't it Mum?

If only you two knew of my plans.



Anvi: I figured the way to make you love the other babies was to get one more in the mix!

Vesana: You, my love, are a colossal idiot.

(Meanwhile at Rindle Rose...)

Cassiel: What the F*CK? JUST GET A JOB, SLACK!



Bronson: Hey bitch! You wanna go?

Blarffy: Not really...

Drago: You do lead a weird and strange life.

Blarffy: You, you say, Drago?  It's not just me. We're in this together, pal - Bronson Villareal you raise one fist at me and I swear I'll-



Blarffy: MOTHER OF-

Drago: I don't think he likes you.

Blarffy: Shut the f*ck up. Just shut the f*ck up.



Bronson: So this is what's become of little Daya. Really unimpressed.

Daya: Ohhh, you are going to weep, Grandpa.

Bronson:...Try me.



Kassidy: -'Cause this is thriller-

Yay vampire break-ins.

(For some unknown reason she never actually broke in and sort of poofed away)



Daya: Why I oughta-

Bronson: Oh. Pray tell.

Daya: *angry mumbling* - die!

Bronson: And my son thinks you're the smart one.



Daya: I owned him, sis!

Summer: Yikes...sounds like he owned you.

Daya: I kicked his ass, he went sobbing to his tomb.

Summer: Uh...he's outside pissing Mum off and eating our food, which he doesn't even need.



Summer: Hands!



Summer: Well, that made her leave.

Just excuses to show Summer off. I really like her.



These two. <3

Glass: Well, how is my handsome Q?

Quinton: Well I *gasp* am really tired *huff* and sorta sweaty *pant* thanks though.

Glass: *contented sigh*



Zoe: It was years ago - it was just - how did you even get the video?

Quinton: Call it magic, now fork some over.

Afternoon blackmail.



I decided to give Q some free-will time because I've run out of things for him to do.

He decided to stand on the pavement and talk to himself.



Summer: Dammit! A fire! Minus ten!

Indeed.

Summer: Wait, minus - what?



Ana: Well hello. Where have you been delivered from, you fine-

Quinton: Don't.



Ana: What's the harm? I don't see any strings here...

Quinton: Just don't. She'll know. Somehow.

Ana: I'm not doing anything, I was joking around-

Quinton: Kk. You wanna chat?



Ana: WHAT THE - not chatting!

Quinton: That's how I chat.



Ana: Yeah. This guy is weird.

Quinton: Take me or leave me.

Ana: At least he has healthy self-confidence.

OK Q let's get you in the house.

Actually we're going to Margot and Ashby's house in Forgotten Hollow because Margot called Daya to invite her.



Glass: WHO WAS THAT Q?

Quinton: Not again...

Ashby: I'm telling you people, he's gonna call me!

Summer: Think that ship sailed, Ash.

Margot: Try telling her that. I've given up.



Quinton: Mutated rats down his drainpipe. Your mother can bring some from the lab, you can make the plan, and Ashby will be avenged.

Margot: Damn Dad, you do have a dark side.

Daya: I feel a breeeeeze...

Margot: I wonder why.



Quinton: That's done, now Glass, dear-

Glass: Don't talk to me. In fact, you're too near right now.



Margot: Don't you like it? Come on, it's brilliant!

Ashby: Yes, but only after he calls me.

Summer: But why would you - why would - oh goddammit and never mind!

Margot: I'll do it anyway. You know I will.



Margot: Hugs for you and the baby!

Ashby: Ashbira accepts!

Summer: I don't trust her somehow...

Somehow? I don't trust her because she's a dilute version of her Auntie Elin.



Daya: Haha, yeah, and remember when he PEED himself-!

Glass: Ahem? What the hell, young lady, who said you could talk about your dad that way?

Daya: But you - you're mad- YOU started shit-talking - oh f*ck it.



Margot: I smell inferiority.

Summer: Seriously, they were just talking, Ma-

Daya: You talking to me?

Margot: Well yeah. You're in a towel.



Ashby: Yep, will do.

Quinton: Good luck kiddo. See you around.

It's 10.30pm and Margot's in bed, so I guess it's time to head home.



Glass: I hope you like fangs, dear daughter.

Summer: I...hey, Mum, if you're going to spout random nonsense leave me out of it.

Glass: Oh but honey. You're gonna grow a pair soon.

Summer: OMG SHUSH. You're getting even weirder, I swear.

Glass: Effects of the Sutherlands, dear. But I'm totally lucid right now. You will grow fangs.



OMG Ida hiiiii!

Ida: What's up you little shit?

Summer: Exsqueeze me?



Ida: You heard me.

Summer: Listen, ghostie, your tombstone, spirit and what the living do with it aren't things that you can control. The second I take over, I'm going up there and I'll make you disappear if you talk to me like that again.

Ida: Hmm...well, you can't do that shit on autonomy. And the Watcher likes me; she won't let her TH release me. So you're stuck with me a long time, kid.



Summer: *splutter*

Ida: Your threats are nothing to me. I raised your Auntie Elin and your Uncle Matt. I am well-versed in threats. Go to bed, dear.



Summer: She's reeeeeaaaallly annoying...do me a favour, why don't ya?

No can do, Summer. Ida is right. I do love her. You're shit out of luck. But when you're TH you can be kept safely out of her way.



Ida: And a drink! You'll never release me!

If you do that creepy-ass face RIGHT into my camera again I might.

Ida: ...



Glass: What's up, bitch?

Ida: Well I never!



Ida: Just kidding. I heard and used worse all the time. Hey there Shattered. Heard you've taken over my bedroom.

Glass: Yeah. Q's pissing me off. That wonderful son I'm apparently so bad for.

Ida: Hold up. You're not bad for him. I just hate you. You make him happy, for some goddamn reason.



Glass: Really?

Ida: Of course.

Glass: So why does your opinion matter?



Ida: Blah blah blah. Don't get shitty, darling. I love my kids and I want them to have the best of everything, INCLUDING spouses. But yeah. I'll bury the hatchet and be nice if you get out of my bathroom.

Glass: But Ida...you're dead and I'm technically mistress of the house now. Plus I really gotta go.



I started messing around in the family tree and I noticed something in Matt's icon looked weird so I checked and...

What the hell, Matt.

I'm not fixing that, by the way. I'm not going to. You get to live with your poor decision until the day you die.



...OK then.

Quinton: F*ck f*ck F*CK I was joking! JOKING! Don't make me-

I did bring him over there for the lols but no-one was home. Shame really. I wanted to meet the Lexie and Jade children.



Let's just have this picture of Del sinking into the pavement.

Del: Woo! No more damn kids and Russell's child support!

(Reminder: Russell is her manwhore stepson who keeps knocking up chicks)



Wow. Someone's using this thing.

Summer: Yeah, I own these little peg dudes.

What, you need a power trip because you got owned by your dead grandma last night?

Summer:...I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.



Daya: Eww, what is that?



Daya: I believe I can FLY!

Summer: Really, because all I see is a teenage girl ruining her kickass sneakers and jumping in a pile of muck. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go stare at a wall. Beats watching you screw around.



Glass: *mumbling* It's going down...

REALLY?



Summer is pissing me off; she keeps following Daya around instead of taking care of her needs.

Summer: Must...roast...

No! Go to sleep, have some fun, do anything but talk to a TIRED AND TENSE Daya!



Looks like I misjudged you, Kale. You actually married your baby mama.



Lyric's kid got married.




As did all of Isadora's.

Nice job on pornstache there, Rachel.



That puts an end to that. Del, you can come out of the ground now.

Del (muffled): I KINDA LIKE IT.



Wow Zara. What are you? A Sutherland TH?

I remember that guy bothered Daya once. She shut him down. Good times.



Kale's wife is a Master Vampire.

Damn girl you really could have done better. Like, WAY better.



Matt had a daughter.



Daya: This peasant dare speak to me?

Summer: You invited me in here.

Daya: Quiet, PEASANT!

Summer: At least I didn't play in trash.

Daya: Psh. Shipping packages can't talk.



Summer: MINE FOREVER! You stand, and I punch. *grabs hand*

Daya: Well, after you get in the box...

PLEASE can we not start this again? You're not f*cking mailing your sister anywhere!



Chester: Oh. OH CRAP. It's a Cousin Q visit, that never ends well!

Daya: Here and fabulous, hon.

Nice trousers, Chester.

That's Kid #1 of Jade and Lexie.



Charlee: Chester if you put your gross loser self one inch nearer me I'll-!

Chester: Hi, it's your favourite neighbourhood Chester telling you that your hand is in a couch.

Charlee: YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT-

Chester: Why, no, dear adoptive sister, you don't seem to.

Charlee: CHESTER-

Jami:  Jesus Christ this will be fun!

(Da da da da DA!) Hamilton lol.

Kids #2 and #3.



Chester: You're a huge bitch.

Charlee: Thanks a lot shitass.



Chester: Whatever, have you seen my new mix CD? I just made it and can't find it anywhere!

Charlee: No idea whatsoever, Chester.

Jami: *mental high-five*



Tonya: I possess NO SOUL WHATSOEVER.

Aaaaand Kid #4 of Jade and Lexie. Great bunch aren't they.



Chester: OK, I guess I'll go look again...please help, Char. You're a good bitch! I do like-

Charlee: I can't, I'm too shiny! Also, I hate you and all you stand for.

Chester:...I'll go alone then...

Tonya: Oh come on, bro, she-

Jami: Shhh. Shhh. Let it fester for a while, sister.

Tonya: Riiiight.

Jami: Exactly.



Chester: Well. Not on that bit of floor! Ooh! Maybe I can check that other bit of floor...could be there!

Tonya: Not sure if dumb or fronting...

Charlee: GUYS THIS IS SERIOUS. I can't SEE!

Jami: But I can. And I'm kind of enjoying this.

Tonya: Hehe. Yeah.

Chester: It's not on that bit of floor! Curses!



Pretty picture of Daya listening to music in Jade and Lexie's room. (At least I think it's theirs).

Daya: *pretends to conduct*



Tonya: NO SOUL NO SOUL

Jami: Just so you know, I'm not going to break eye contact, Q dear.

Charlee: I'm normal! I'm CLEAN! And I'm still not gonna help you look for your f*cking CD, Chester.



Chester: So it's not stuck to the window! That's where they put it last time!

Quinton: I think I'm figuring this whole CD business out...

Chester: Oh really? Where is it?

Quinton: No can do. I'm going to join Jami in watching what happens.

Chester: What does Jami have to do with - OK, so it's not on that bit of floor either!



Chester: Hi pretty girl!

Daya: So you're my cousin.

Chester: Adopted! I'm adopted!

Daya: So you're my cousin!



Tonya: So one day I will awaken Satan-

Jami: Just spare me, OK. I just wanna mess with as many people as possible.

I have a feeling that these girls would have got along great with Child Margot. If only they'd been around a bit earlier.

THANKS LEXIE, you do NOTHING RIGHT.



Tonya: Not to worry, brother dear, I will make sure your coffin is lined in blood-dyed velvet-

Chester: As in red-?

Tonya: AS IN BLOOD-DYED VELVET, PEON!

Jami: Come on, get it together, Chester. Hey, hey Ton, you should totally dye it with HIS blood!

Quinton: You two remind me of Margot when she was that age - oh SHIT. Damn Lexie. You are going to have your hands FULL!



Chester: Totally sending this to Daya-!

Jami: She's our cou- I mean, it's totally fine! Send all the alluring pics you want!

Chester: Aw yes!

Tonya: Those trousers...it almost makes me want to do the deed now.

Daya: Yeah, I'mma drink.

Normally I'd lecture you or some shit but I cba to because really. You have a point.



Nice dress, Jade.

Jade: Jokes on you, I like it.



Tonya: Chester, dear...I think that to find your new mix CD, we must first locate your boombox and all the old CDs.

Chester: You're RIGHT!



Later...

Jami: See Charlee! We fixed the problem!

Charlee: Yeah, you did jack, kid.

Jami: What can I say? I'm a shit-stirrer and watcher. I don't partake in any of it,

Tonya: Perhaps this burger will endow me with a soul one day..



Tonya: IT WORKED.

Quinton: Huh. Not so sure about that one...

Tonya: No, it really worked. Don't doubt me, Cousin Q. That never ends well.



Jade: This isn't Lexie's cooking for sure...

Daya: Oh my God they're still stupid.



Quinton: Dancing, hell y-

Jade: OW-

Quinton: Shitfuck.

Jade: Speak for yourself. This is the best action I've had in years.

(That's...sad)

Daya: Can't look. Can't look! I'm so done!



Jade: So, children, how was your day?

Charlee: We totally destroyed Chester's music stuff.

Jade: Good job, Charlee. I knew you were my favourite child!

Tonya: Excuse me, but I did everything. I tricked him, I found the hammer-

Jade: The hammer again, sweetie...Charlee, get Jami and just go play outside for a bit.

Yeah I'mma go home. The kids' needs are getting low. And so concludes this chapter. Next time, they're both growing up.

Score Sheet- 40

Single Births (18) +90

Twin Births (3) +30

Aspiration Tiers (55) +275

Aspiration (7) +70

Grade A (5) +25

Randomising everything for 1 gen (3) +30
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40

Every 100,000 simoleons (4) +80
Immortalise TH (1) +5

Pass Out (84) -420

Self Wetting (25) -125
Fires (6) -60