6.11 - Fussy Toddler Queens
Summer:...knees.
Meet the new heir, everyone!
So Ashby's been sent to live with Auntie Vesa, and there's probably gonna be like 3-4 more chapters of Q's generation because as you can see, the lovely Summer is still a child. But she might grow up this chapter...
Daya: And we didn't even have a chance...
Margot: Do you wanna be in this house your entire life?
Daya:...true.
Margot: Would just constrain my evil.
Daya: Maybe you should have had a chance...
Margot: Shhhh I'll spare you.
Daya: O__O
Summer: Oh grandparents! My knees - I mean heart, is broken!
Del and Lexie adopted new kids/teens.
Also, Q got a promotion to level 9! Almost there!
Ida my lovely!
Ida: Did ya miss me?
YES. How's the other side?
Ida: Everybody's about as crazy and whiny as I remembered them from this side, but hey. Wouldn't be the people I love without that shit.
Margot: DAD SHIT - wait, why are you wearing leggings?
Quinton: All men wear leggings to shower now. It's an annoying problem and NOBODY bothers to fix it.
Margot: Lazy Watcher?
Quinton: What do you think?
Daya: What's that frickin' clanking...? Trying to work on my thousandth normal quality knife block!
Er Daya...
Daya: SO YOU HEAR IT! You're the Watcher, what the heck is happening?
Yeah.
Daya: OH GOD I USE THAT THING.
I know. So do your parents.
Daya: Bleurgh...
Margot: So first, me and Auntie Elin hit Oasis Springs.
Quinton: That's nice dear
Margot: -I know Ashby lives there, but really the place sucks, and we never go there anyway, so what's to miss...
Quinton:...where did you get that grilled fruit? It looks amazing!
A+ parenting.
Quinton: Spotted: Lone partier on the balcony! Oh yeah!
No, you're a sad man who's attempting to day-drink when you still have so much to do. Put that down and make another drink. We're selling them.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
For real tho, hurry up and make the stupid drink.
Daya: Why the hell are you dancing?
Margot: STFU Daya, we're not fricking dancing!
Summer: We're not?
Margot: NO! I'm just wondering why I've been bumped down to a D grade! I am an A GRADE.
Daya: Hmmm...
Daya: Hmmm...
Summer: Eh. *dances, sings* Stop! Wait a minute-!
Daya: F*cking stop, Summer.
Right, time to go meet your second cousins and first cousins once-removed. (That means Isa's kids and grandkids).
After Daya and Margot take showers.
Oh hey Kat. I remember when you 'befriended' Elin as a teen and tried to gold-dig from the Sutherlands.
Kat: Shut up, OK? I'm knocked up by Malcolm Landgraab, so I'm going to get something!
*cough* Downgrade.
Kat: SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
Family reunion!
Apart from Matt and Kale. 'Cos they sorta suck. I just brought everyone who had friend status in Q's panel.
Ashby: Ooh! Child down! Fuuuuun!
Very glad you didn't get a surprise baby last night, Ashby. I don't think you're ready.
Madalyn: Listen up, I've got a kid to take care of, soon two, and you're waltzing in here with the entire family-!
Quinton: Not to worry. Margot will only threaten one death, I've told her to keep it to one, and maybe Summer might try to poke the babies but-
Madalyn: You're a bitch.
Madalyn: I'm gonna throw uuuuupppp, but I want cake...Q, help a cousin out?
Quinton: *muttering* No way in hell, just wanted the fam to meet them.
Madison: I AM THE FUSSY QUEEN, AND NONE OF YOU WILL PAY ME ATTENTION! CORRECT THIS!
Madalyn: Shut up Mads, or I'll aim at your little head.
Quinton: Great parenting, just great-
Madalyn: STFU.
Del: Bad bitch on the scene!
Del honey.
Del: What? I FEEL GREAT!
Drop the act.
Rachel: BE STILL MY HEART! CHIIIIPS!
Ashby: Keep reading.
Summer: OK...Galaxy moaned out loud as Tyon-
Vesana: Made by Russell Houchin? Who the f is Russell Houchin?
Summer: I really don't wanna read this-
Ashby: ASHBIRA COMMANDS IT
Summer: Tyon - ew, ew, I'm EIGHT, can you not-?
Rachel: -AAAGGGGHHHH-
Vesana: Wh - Del? How did your son get his terrible food over here?
Del: *sings* And it's called black magic!
Vesana: I hate you so much.
Summer: That's it. I'm done.
Ashby: It's so fun to watch you squirm, sister.
Summer: *narrows eyes*
Amara: RIIIIISE!
Wut.
Quinton: It's fine, there's just a lot of new people, but everything is all right.
Madison: *reaches for neck* No.
ALRIGHT THEN.
What is up with these toddlers.
I mean, Summer was...Summer, but she wasn't like this.
Summer: So, first things first, your best friends and worst enemies, simultaneously, are chips, you're probably a failed vlogger-
Madalyn and Destinee are enjoying burgers, away from the rest of the fam, as they always like to be.
Quinton: So, Vesa.
Vesana: Aw. Hello little favourite. What's new with you?
Quinton: Well, not sure when you last saw me, but I've got three kids as teens now.
Vesana: *maniacally forced smiling* Ha. HAHA. I've got three toddlers in the house. And Anvi says I can't call them 'little trash' or throw them in there - so where's the entertainment?
Quinton:...
Rachel: Hey, listen, you little shit! I've got a job, a kid, a nice LIFE with my sisters-!
Summer: Which one is your kid?
Rachel:...You seen the chips?
Summer: Answer me. The chips had to go bye bye. As in you ate them, dumbass. Now ANSWER ME.
Quinton: How about you, D-
Del: Oh don't get me started! Krysta and Girl Ryan are nightmares, and Zara's crazy! Looney ain't just a surname! And then Russell won't move out and he knocked up some girl, and then the new kid, what's-his-face, is the worst-
Quinton: Could I suggest you don't adopt more kids?
Del: Ohhhh, yes, THANK YOU Q, didn't know THAT-
Madalyn: Hi, Madison, how are-
Madison: YOU TALKED TO SOMEONE ELSE
Madalyn: Yes, I was telling Cousin Q to not come here anymore.
Madison: I had to strangle him; it was the only way-
Madalyn: No you did not, and I swear if you go near my new baby I'll lock you in that crib for good.
Madison: He still lives, Mother-
Madalyn: And that's good, Mads. That's very good. Now shut up and let mummy eat her second burger of the day.
Compare and contrast to Amara.
Ashby: -yeah, it's great living with Auntie Vesa! The sound of screaming kids mixed with pissed-off Anvi, as well as rudely chill Vesa make for the perfect environment to hone my zen.
Rachel: Uh huh...
Ashby: Obviously for practice, y'know, you've gotta be zen in all conditions! I'd like a soundproof room but Anvi says it's 'not happening', as if!
Rachel: Yeah...hey Amara, you cool?
Amara: Yup.
Rachel: ASHBY! First the chips, then the dinosaurs! ZEN ON THAT!
Destinee: I think someone needs a nap.
Elin: Yeah. Me.
Del: Haha. She thinks she's tired.
Vesana: *fake smiling* Ohhhhh Del, don't even start with me.
Margot: Burger torture? Bur-ture? Uhhhh...I really need to get inventive, I'm growing up soon...
YUP.
Daya: Hrrrrr! This burger is really good!
I actually laughed out loud when I saw that face.
Madison: Perhaps I shall, mother, if you allow me near the knives.
Madalyn: Ah ha ha. I'm not bargaining with you, you're three. Shut up and eat something.
Madison: But mother. I want Cousin Q's SOUL.
Madalyn: No, you're not eating a soul! That's not even food!
Daya: What, what? You scared of my awesome burger?
Rachel: NO! 'Twas just a temporary bout of insanity. Food doesn't scare me no more!
Daya: That's what they all say...oh, and get a haircut.
Rachel: DO NOT EVEN TRY WITH MY FABULOUS HAIR!
Daya: Oh, but I will. And I'll say this. You look like a muddy, mangy GOAT! A GOAT!
Elin: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
Glass is hiding behind the house.
Glass: Oh Q! I'm not in a fit state to see your cousins now!
Quinton: Of course you are...
Glass: Well of course I'm not, Q, didn't I just-
Quinton: I'll prove it.
Glass: You're gonna bash your head into the wall, darling.
Quinton: Better me than you.
Daya: Hey guys.
Quinton: Hey Day. Just talking to your mother, we're gonna join the rest-
Daya: Oh, what, you were having sex out here too-!
Glass: What are you talking about...
Quinton; No, no, no, this is your cousins' house-
Glass: Kissing. Just kissing. Maybe a bit of tongue.
Daya: OK ENOUGH. EW. One word, f*ckers. Observatory.
Glass: Ohhh...
Quinton: Wellll...
Glass: It's just that the beds are so far away...
Madison: Ohhhh Cousin Q....where are yooouuuuu?
Madison: NO! No, no, NO! I climb down the mountain, just as he climbs up! Where is the justice?
Quinton: Oh hi Maddie! Need help there?
Madison: NO! I will ascend once more!
Quinton: K.
Madison: I hate him so much...
Destinee: Your mother being a bit useless? What's she talking to now?
Amara: Cousin Q.
Destinee: *sigh*
Rachel: Grilled cheese is the best though! So friendly, yet witty, but they don't...patronise you. Stupid tofu dogs...
Quinton: Yeahhh...
Madalyn: Something smells...Mads?
Madison: No it's-
Madalyn: Q, get out and take a shower!
Quinton: Yes ma'am!
Rachel: BUT I WANTED TO RANT ABOUT THE GRILLED FRUITS!
Quinton: YES MA'AM!
Destinee: Say 'Auntie Des's kid will be the best'
Amara: Screw off.
Let's leave on that note!
Wtf are these kids doing here?
The spiky one is Del's new kid, the teen is Lexie and Jade's...who's the sweater kid?
Wtf are these kids doing here?
The spiky one is Del's new kid, the teen is Lexie and Jade's...who's the sweater kid?
Q finally tries out the video games.
Hey, Summer, feeling TANGRY? Cos you're-
Summer: Tired and angry. Yeah. I know.
Go to bed.
Summer: I'mma play.
NOT AGAIN
Kale, it's 4am and also? Daya hates you.
Daya cleans this nasty tub that has been dirty since before vacay, I think.
Daya: Seriously, you people are - what's that? OH HELL IT'S ALIVE!
Gonna leave you to do that.
Meanwhile Q cleans this even more nasty grill.
How does a grill even get like that?
Daya: When I have kids, I'mma trash 'em!
Glass: That's a terrible idea.
Daya: Great idea.
Glass: Bad.
Poor Q has to do all the shit.
Margot: Fixing the bath-shower, are we? Imagine if I moved the plumbing.
Daya=Best Child.
Daya: Well, at least I'm not seeing any wrigglers!
Meanwhile the other two awake NTHs are doing this.
Glass: Nice, right? I got it just as you were shouting at that poor kid.
Margot: If you don't delete this, I swear you'll die-
Glass: But your mouth, and oh my God it looks like your eyes are crossed! I'm keeping this forever!
Glass: See Watcher? I WORK.
Yeah, by throwing away the spoiled coffee I was leaving there on purpose.
Glass: Ew. Why.
SO YOU IDIOTS DON'T USE COFFEE AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR SLEEP.
Margot: -no, I don't like your ideas, or you, if I'm honest-
Daya: Trash babies.
Margot:...that's actually brilliant
Daya: Time for a cuppa Joe! I'm so glad Mum cleared it out this morning!
Daya: Great idea.
Glass: Bad.
Poor Q has to do all the shit.
Margot: Fixing the bath-shower, are we? Imagine if I moved the plumbing.
Daya=Best Child.
Daya: Well, at least I'm not seeing any wrigglers!
Meanwhile the other two awake NTHs are doing this.
Glass: Nice, right? I got it just as you were shouting at that poor kid.
Margot: If you don't delete this, I swear you'll die-
Glass: But your mouth, and oh my God it looks like your eyes are crossed! I'm keeping this forever!
Glass: See Watcher? I WORK.
Yeah, by throwing away the spoiled coffee I was leaving there on purpose.
Glass: Ew. Why.
SO YOU IDIOTS DON'T USE COFFEE AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR SLEEP.
Margot: -no, I don't like your ideas, or you, if I'm honest-
Daya: Trash babies.
Margot:...that's actually brilliant
Daya: Time for a cuppa Joe! I'm so glad Mum cleared it out this morning!
Are you happy Glass?
Glass: YES.
Daya: I need sleep...ooh, I still have coffee!
I think the children are in need of another outing.
Daya: Oh no. F*ck no. If I have to hear another word out of Rachel's dumb mouth-
Relax. We're going to visit Auntie Del and her brood!
Daya: I'm out.
You're in.
Daya: Screw you.
*blows kiss*
Elin and Ashby: Not again! Didn't we just do this?
Ryan: Can you sense the crazy, Mama?
Cassiel (Del's wife): Yes honey. Yes.
OMG you guys are like twins!
Elin: Please, I'm-
Margot: On my level? You're on my level, right, Auntie El?
Elin: Sure.
Zara: Attention for you!
Krysta: SCREW OFF! I want my MUMMY!
Del ain't out here, sweetie.
Summer: Jeez. Was I this much of a bitch when I was her age?
Cassiel: Zara, see? Say 'hey Krysta, what would you like?'
Zara: Hey Krysta, what would you like, meh meh meh-
Krysta: MOMMY!
Vesana: I swear someone oughta smack that kid.
Zara: Please, Auntie Vesana.
Vesana: Who are you?
Margot: But- but why Auntie Elin? You're right out there, and RUDE!
Daya: You pick the worst role models...
Glass: Ooh. Wall.
Summer: Wall.
Russell: Gimme a hint, you lil shit!
Ryan: Well I- *shuts up*
Russell: You're the worst.
Summer: BEND AND SNAP BITCHES
Daya: Well I - would you all go away?
Ashby: They're the worst, aren't they?
Margot: No! NO! *sniff, sob*
Elin: I hope you're cheering on the so-called villain here, Margot, or you're really not my protege-
Margot: Yes, Auntie El. *feels the sympathy*
Zara: QUIT HIDING ME! I WILL SURVIVE!
Elin: She just can't think of a line for you right now, dearie.
Zara: Hmph.
Russell: If someone doesn't sort out this motherf*cking kid I swear I will kick it down those stairs!
Zara: I don't know how to deal with it! Seriously, you think I like it any better?
Russell: Well, you don't have the f*cking trait! I'd like to-
Elin: Children, children-
Zara and Russell: WHAT?
Elin: - don't get caught. Evil is limited when you're in prison.
Zara: You're pretty cool, Auntie Elin.
Elin: Yes, yes. Flowers can be sent to my address. Preferably in full view of my husband. *mutters* F*cking Jordon...
Meanwhile...
Glass; It's such an interesting one!
Vesana: My SoL is a moron.
Glass: If you don't like my walls, you can leave!
Vesana: Ohoho, you don't have the authority for that, you dumb bitch!
Glass: You didn't even want to be here!
Vesana: Ohhhh but now I do! You started shit, Miss Glass, so I think we gotta finish it!
Ashby: *yells* YOU PROBABLY WON'T!
Ashby: -And BTW Summer, as for you it'd be easier to teach a llama to drive than to get your ass on a sleep schedule!
Summer: Why I - I thought you loved me for who I was!
Daya: She has a point, little S.
Vesana: Won't finish it, huh? What if I stab little favourite's dumb wife right in the-
Glass: You are getting a liiittle close to-hehe. That tickles.
Cassiel: Hey kids! Don't be sad! You are my sunshine, my only sunshine-
Russell: Yay! Mama!
Elin: Heh...*grits teeth*
Zara: It'll be over soon, don't worry. She only knows like two lines.
Elin: Kill me now...
Cassiel: I never noticed how much I love you. Please don't take my - broccoli? Bacon? A MYSTERY!
Quinton: Krysta is a lovely kid, Del! I don't know what you're getting at.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Krysta: *neck snaps out of place* What, Mother?
I think it's time to go home.
Del: DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HER!
Vesana: Right, bye, and tell your father that if he wreaks the same hell on my home sweet home he's going to be knocked into Summer's TH-hood.
Margot: Will do. (Why couldn't they be together? WHY? Curse you Dr Gravlax!)
Summer: How dare you not defend my honour? I'm not a llama.
Daya: Whoa...kid, I love you, but I love my self-worth more, so if you don't shut the hell up - well, I'm not afraid to hit a child.
Margot: Oh my...GET A PLOT, MOVIE!
Daya: #don'tneedsleep #coffee4dawin
KALE screw off!
Margot: She's our sister...
Daya: C'mon, we dig a little grave, tell her it's a nice playing pit or some shit, she gets in, and we bring in the diggers...
Margot: She's the heir though.
Daya: I could step in-!
No you couldn't and don't murder your sister please.
Daya: Well darn.
Margot: We could ship her to San Myshuno or something.
Summer: *lip quivering* D-do you r-really want to s-send me aw-way?
Daya: Indubitably.
Margot: Your begging makes it BETTER!
Summer: Well damn. That failed. I'll get 'em first.
You'll lose.
Summer: What makes you-
Two teens v one child. Plus, knowing you, you're probably going to pass out and they'll just lift you in, tape it up and send you on your way.
Summer: You've thought about this way too much.
Probably have.I write all your conversations.
Summer: What did you say about conversations?
Nothing at all.
Summer: Hmm.I WANNA ROLL IN BACON BLOCKS. Sorry what did I say?
Nothing you didn't want to.
Even later...
Summer: What are they gonna do?
TV guy: Whoo, I like!
Summer: What's he doing?
Nothing.
Summer: Why do you always say that?
'Cos it's often the only acceptable answer with you, dear.
Summer: Whatever, screw this, I'm taking a bath.
NO! Are you Evan (from the WYDC, he's B's dad)? It's 11.45pm! Who exercises at 11.45pm?
(Place: Probably in some basement full of corpses, with Jordon panicking and Elin throwing rocks to try and make him shut up)
Elin: You die.
Jordon: *gulp*
(Place: Parti-houseay geddit? Aren't I clever)
Jade: Stop f*cking acquiring children!
Lexie: Little Jam will make you love me!
Jami: My name's-
Lexie: We should get another one! Whaddya think of the name Butterball?
Jami: *facepalm*
Jade: *double-facepalm*
Matt's having a kid.
I would write a little dialogue but I have no headcanon of how their relationship works. I'd say Gabby looks pretty dominant tho.
(Place: Rindle Rose i.e. Sutherland-Houchin house)
Zara and Russell: FML
Cassiel: Please. Word on the street is you knocked up someone else.
(That word was true)
Zara: HA!
Russell: Shhhh Looney-Tune.
Zara: I will smack you-
Del: Children shut it.
Ryan and Krysta: LOVE ME
Do Cassidel (that's the ship name because it's perfect) hate themselves or something?
Fatima 1: Other Fatima.
Fatima 2: Other Fatima.
Both: No, you're other Fatima! Dammit! Can't we get our own dialogue around here?
Summer: That is some weird shit right there.
Bronson: I got the power!
Summer: The dishwasher is broken...
Bronson: Indeed...
Summer: IT WAS YOU
Bronson: I believe it was you and the ass-load of plates you shoved in it.
The next morning (or same night for Summer as she wouldn't get to bed)
Summer: Please please don't send me away sisters!
Margot: You got away this time, you little crap.
Daya: Dad caught us with the packing tape and old moving boxes and demanded to know what we were doing...
Margot: This loser ratted.
Daya: Dad threatened to set his bottle friends on us if we did anything.
Summer: Oh yeah. He would totally start throwing them, discouragement huh? Shame.
Margot: So we gave it up.
Daya: Screw you though.
Summer: Yay?
Bronson: Glass! Hi! You're looking...good.
Bronson: Seriously! Really good!
Glass: Thanks, ghost of dead dad-in-law. Thanks. I'm all prepped for my adult transformation.
Bronson: But Q is-
Glass: Q is older than me due to the life-halting properties of pregnancy.
Glass: Don't worry, Summer sweetie. We'll never sell you...
Summer: K...
Glass: Not unless something REALLY good comes up - oh I'm kidding!
Summer: OK...
Margot...
Margot: My hands have forsaken me!
Not in the mood, go away.
Way to be slackasses, Kale and Elin.
Glass, Daya, Margot and Summer look pretty slick though.
We're at a fancy restaurant and since Q has to go to work, no-one is controllable. I'm like 99% sure it's gonna be a disaster.
Pamela: Y'know what Chandler? Formal wear doesn't require glasses! And why are you wearing your wedding suit?
Chandler (on fifth glass of wine): *hic* I love you Pam.
Pamela: DAMMIT CHANDLER.
The others still hadn't sat down, so I got Margot to get them a table. Free actions yeah!
Waiter: Ooh, lesbians-
Penny: Lemme sock this guy, Fifi, I swear I'mma sock this guy-
Sofia: Don't worry Penny. Name and shame, I swear by it. I'll let you write the Yelp review.
LOL there were no tables for six so they got split up.
Kale: So what would the lady like?
Glass: Death. Just death. Figures; I go to a fancy restaurant and this shit happens.
Chandler: Heeeey? *hic* Bring over some red now, please!
Pamela: I swear to God when we get home you'll be on the couch for a week!
Penny: Ooooh my-
Sofia: That is some good shit right there.
Chandler: These things are so fun! Stairs. Staaaaaiiiiirs.
Pamela: You're actually a funny drunk, Chan. I changed my mind, let's split the red you ordered and get the hell home.
Chandler: So am I gonna get-?
Pamela: Don't push it.
Elin: YOU DID WHAT?
Daya: Yeah! We almost shipped Summer to...well, it was probably gonna be Forgotten Hollow or something, but-
Margot: Just say it. We failed. We failed you, Auntie Elin.
Daya: We did manage to find some packing tape and boxing before Dad noticed.
Elin: I have...one percent pride, let's say.
Margot: One per...*sniffs, wipes tear*
Summer: Is no-one gonna think about how traumatising that was for me or...
Daya:...Well no.
Summer: LOL we're ordering Kale a water and the cheapest appetiser even though it was his idea to come here.
Margot: Such is his lot in life, little shipping package, I mean sister.
Annabel: Didn't I tell you not wear that jacket?
Colt: Didn't I tell you not to wear that dress from our first date?
Annabel: That was-...OK, it was our second date, you asshole.
Colt: I guess we're both stuck in the past a little, but really, you have grey hair-
Annabel: Hey, and as if I don't know about your dye job!
Colt: Not relevant.
Annabel: VERY RELEVANT.
Colt: And we have three kids!
Annabel: HOLY SHIT WE DO
Colt: I swear you used to be smarter.
Kale: Glass, my companion-!
Glass: Peeing, and I'll string you up by your balls if you holler that across the restaurant again!
Elin: Don't worry Kale, half of all marriages end in failure!
Daya: Mum and Dad aren't going to-
Summer: Nah. She's tricking him and trying to destroy his emotional health! How naive you are, sister.
Daya: One more word...
Summer: I'll be shipped somewhere, I know-
Daya: Why you little-
Summer: I don't care. At least I won't have to see your face!
Elin: Girls, no lame insults at the table please.
Elin: *fake gasp* No I DON'T care how old you are, it's not an excuse. Think of something good or shut up!
Summer: But Auntie! Look at it!
Elin: AAGH!
Daya: OK screw you guys. Can we just eat our food?
Summer: Tetchy.
Daya: Little piece of post...
Kale: Yeah. Can you believe? We're on a d- ah, ah, ah dammit Glass f*ck shit owwwww-!
Glass: Sometimes I do love my heels.
Waiter: I like a feisty woman-
Glass: I will break your foot.
Waiter: Uh, OK-
Glass: Sorry, you've consigned yourself to a bad review, asshead!
Fatima: Sincere apologies; I forgot how to person. Now where's that damn notepad...
Glass: I'm going to forgive you this time, because you're dumb and emotionally stunted, plus I already made a two-cm hole in your thigh.
Kale: It hurts so bad Glass...
Glass: I know. I know. But even though we're in the same lifestage now I helped raise you as a child, so this is just part of the learning curve.
Kale: Owww...
Glass:...And also shows how creepy this scenario is, Kale, so get it together, really...
Elin: We don't-
Daya: Know her.
Elin: Don't cut me off, or I'll-
Margot: I know! I know! She'll harm you Daya! BADLY.
Elin: Are you dumb? Seriously, Margot, what did I just say?
Summer: *drools on floor*
-5 as well, YAY FAIL CHILD.
Skyler: Too cool for this shiz.
Vaughn: Too lame to swear.
Skyler: You daring me? 'Cos I will.
Vaughn: Prove it.
They'd all finished and I didn't want Summer to pass out again so I used Glass's action to send 'em home.
Too bloody late.
Later...
Are you kidding me?
Summer: I'm huuuungry.
OK yeah you didn't finish your food at the restaurant but STILL! Stay asleep and eat in the morning like a normal person!
Summer:...Nah.
(Place: Vesana's house, wherever that is)
Ashby: Ohhhh...
Vesana: OUT.
Ashby: Y'know what? Nash hasn't called me so nah. NAH.
(Kale's texts to Glass)
Kale: Yeah I got my life together whoo!
Kale: Got a girl pregnant, having a kid!
Kale: How do I deal with this Glass?
(Later...)
Kale: I think I'll just ignore it.
Kale: And her. Yeah, definitely her.
Kale: Good plan right?
Russell's a slut. Just saying...
Cassiel: DAMMIT well I guess that means I have to help you pay for more child support!
Russell: You betcha!
Cassiel: You're lucky you're my son and I love you...
Ida what. Why are you mourning for dead people?
...You're dead, you can see them whenever the hell you like.
Lie. LIE. LIIIIIIIES. Clinton/Boris Johnson/Trump/Cruz/whatever-politician has nothing on this shit.
Good.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
That is such bullshit.
Margot: What? I'm turning over a new leaf. *wink*
Ahhhh.
But still.
'Tis a huge lie.
This chapter has been enormous so next time there will be a birthday for Summer.
Right bye.
Oh, and here's YA Margot. She looked kinda stickly and gangly and a bit awkward throughout her teen years but she's really grown into herself now. (Not that she wasn't like, 500% more beautiful than I could ever aspire to be tho lol).
ALSO Vesana's house is full of toddlers, as well as Kale and one of Lyric's kids for some goddamn reason, so Ashby and Margot are moving out by themselves.
Kicking out this asshole who harassed Glass on vacation.
So long, Hamza Seddiki/Bear Bitch 2.
Glass: YES.
Daya: I need sleep...ooh, I still have coffee!
I think the children are in need of another outing.
Daya: Oh no. F*ck no. If I have to hear another word out of Rachel's dumb mouth-
Relax. We're going to visit Auntie Del and her brood!
Daya: I'm out.
You're in.
Daya: Screw you.
*blows kiss*
Elin and Ashby: Not again! Didn't we just do this?
Ryan: Can you sense the crazy, Mama?
Cassiel (Del's wife): Yes honey. Yes.
OMG you guys are like twins!
Elin: Please, I'm-
Margot: On my level? You're on my level, right, Auntie El?
Elin: Sure.
Zara: Attention for you!
Krysta: SCREW OFF! I want my MUMMY!
Del ain't out here, sweetie.
Summer: Jeez. Was I this much of a bitch when I was her age?
Cassiel: Zara, see? Say 'hey Krysta, what would you like?'
Zara: Hey Krysta, what would you like, meh meh meh-
Krysta: MOMMY!
Vesana: I swear someone oughta smack that kid.
Zara: Please, Auntie Vesana.
Vesana: Who are you?
Margot: But- but why Auntie Elin? You're right out there, and RUDE!
Daya: You pick the worst role models...
Glass: Ooh. Wall.
Summer: Wall.
Russell: Gimme a hint, you lil shit!
Ryan: Well I- *shuts up*
Russell: You're the worst.
Summer: BEND AND SNAP BITCHES
Daya: Well I - would you all go away?
Ashby: They're the worst, aren't they?
Margot: No! NO! *sniff, sob*
Elin: I hope you're cheering on the so-called villain here, Margot, or you're really not my protege-
Margot: Yes, Auntie El. *feels the sympathy*
Zara: QUIT HIDING ME! I WILL SURVIVE!
Elin: She just can't think of a line for you right now, dearie.
Zara: Hmph.
Russell: If someone doesn't sort out this motherf*cking kid I swear I will kick it down those stairs!
Zara: I don't know how to deal with it! Seriously, you think I like it any better?
Russell: Well, you don't have the f*cking trait! I'd like to-
Elin: Children, children-
Zara and Russell: WHAT?
Elin: - don't get caught. Evil is limited when you're in prison.
Zara: You're pretty cool, Auntie Elin.
Elin: Yes, yes. Flowers can be sent to my address. Preferably in full view of my husband. *mutters* F*cking Jordon...
Meanwhile...
Glass; It's such an interesting one!
Vesana: My SoL is a moron.
Glass: If you don't like my walls, you can leave!
Vesana: Ohoho, you don't have the authority for that, you dumb bitch!
Glass: You didn't even want to be here!
Vesana: Ohhhh but now I do! You started shit, Miss Glass, so I think we gotta finish it!
Ashby: *yells* YOU PROBABLY WON'T!
Ashby: -And BTW Summer, as for you it'd be easier to teach a llama to drive than to get your ass on a sleep schedule!
Summer: Why I - I thought you loved me for who I was!
Daya: She has a point, little S.
Vesana: Won't finish it, huh? What if I stab little favourite's dumb wife right in the-
Glass: You are getting a liiittle close to-hehe. That tickles.
Cassiel: Hey kids! Don't be sad! You are my sunshine, my only sunshine-
Russell: Yay! Mama!
Elin: Heh...*grits teeth*
Zara: It'll be over soon, don't worry. She only knows like two lines.
Elin: Kill me now...
Cassiel: I never noticed how much I love you. Please don't take my - broccoli? Bacon? A MYSTERY!
Quinton: Krysta is a lovely kid, Del! I don't know what you're getting at.
Krysta: *neck snaps out of place* What, Mother?
I think it's time to go home.
Del: DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HER!
Vesana: Right, bye, and tell your father that if he wreaks the same hell on my home sweet home he's going to be knocked into Summer's TH-hood.
Margot: Will do. (Why couldn't they be together? WHY? Curse you Dr Gravlax!)
Summer: How dare you not defend my honour? I'm not a llama.
Daya: Whoa...kid, I love you, but I love my self-worth more, so if you don't shut the hell up - well, I'm not afraid to hit a child.
Margot: Oh my...GET A PLOT, MOVIE!
Daya: #don'tneedsleep #coffee4dawin
KALE screw off!
Margot: She's our sister...
Daya: C'mon, we dig a little grave, tell her it's a nice playing pit or some shit, she gets in, and we bring in the diggers...
Margot: She's the heir though.
Daya: I could step in-!
No you couldn't and don't murder your sister please.
Daya: Well darn.
Margot: We could ship her to San Myshuno or something.
Summer: *lip quivering* D-do you r-really want to s-send me aw-way?
Daya: Indubitably.
Margot: Your begging makes it BETTER!
Summer: Well damn. That failed. I'll get 'em first.
You'll lose.
Summer: What makes you-
Two teens v one child. Plus, knowing you, you're probably going to pass out and they'll just lift you in, tape it up and send you on your way.
Summer: You've thought about this way too much.
Probably have.
Summer: What did you say about conversations?
Nothing at all.
Summer: Hmm.
Nothing you didn't want to.
Even later...
Summer: What are they gonna do?
TV guy: Whoo, I like!
Summer: What's he doing?
Nothing.
Summer: Why do you always say that?
'Cos it's often the only acceptable answer with you, dear.
Summer: Whatever, screw this, I'm taking a bath.
NO! Are you Evan (from the WYDC, he's B's dad)? It's 11.45pm! Who exercises at 11.45pm?
(Place: Probably in some basement full of corpses, with Jordon panicking and Elin throwing rocks to try and make him shut up)
Elin: You die.
Jordon: *gulp*
(Place: Parti-house
Jade: Stop f*cking acquiring children!
Lexie: Little Jam will make you love me!
Jami: My name's-
Lexie: We should get another one! Whaddya think of the name Butterball?
Jami: *facepalm*
Jade: *double-facepalm*
Matt's having a kid.
I would write a little dialogue but I have no headcanon of how their relationship works. I'd say Gabby looks pretty dominant tho.
(Place: Rindle Rose i.e. Sutherland-Houchin house)
Zara and Russell: FML
Cassiel: Please. Word on the street is you knocked up someone else.
(That word was true)
Zara: HA!
Russell: Shhhh Looney-Tune.
Zara: I will smack you-
Del: Children shut it.
Ryan and Krysta: LOVE ME
Do Cassidel (that's the ship name because it's perfect) hate themselves or something?
Fatima 1: Other Fatima.
Fatima 2: Other Fatima.
Both: No, you're other Fatima! Dammit! Can't we get our own dialogue around here?
Summer: That is some weird shit right there.
Bronson: I got the power!
Summer: The dishwasher is broken...
Bronson: Indeed...
Summer: IT WAS YOU
Bronson: I believe it was you and the ass-load of plates you shoved in it.
The next morning (or same night for Summer as she wouldn't get to bed)
Summer: Please please don't send me away sisters!
Margot: You got away this time, you little crap.
Daya: Dad caught us with the packing tape and old moving boxes and demanded to know what we were doing...
Margot: This loser ratted.
Daya: Dad threatened to set his bottle friends on us if we did anything.
Summer: Oh yeah. He would totally start throwing them, discouragement huh? Shame.
Margot: So we gave it up.
Daya: Screw you though.
Summer: Yay?
Bronson: Glass! Hi! You're looking...good.
Bronson: Seriously! Really good!
Glass: Thanks, ghost of dead dad-in-law. Thanks. I'm all prepped for my adult transformation.
Bronson: But Q is-
Glass: Q is older than me due to the life-halting properties of pregnancy.
Glass: Don't worry, Summer sweetie. We'll never sell you...
Summer: K...
Glass: Not unless something REALLY good comes up - oh I'm kidding!
Summer: OK...
Margot...
Margot: My hands have forsaken me!
Not in the mood, go away.
Way to be slackasses, Kale and Elin.
Glass, Daya, Margot and Summer look pretty slick though.
We're at a fancy restaurant and since Q has to go to work, no-one is controllable. I'm like 99% sure it's gonna be a disaster.
Pamela: Y'know what Chandler? Formal wear doesn't require glasses! And why are you wearing your wedding suit?
Chandler (on fifth glass of wine): *hic* I love you Pam.
Pamela: DAMMIT CHANDLER.
The others still hadn't sat down, so I got Margot to get them a table. Free actions yeah!
Waiter: Ooh, lesbians-
Penny: Lemme sock this guy, Fifi, I swear I'mma sock this guy-
Sofia: Don't worry Penny. Name and shame, I swear by it. I'll let you write the Yelp review.
LOL there were no tables for six so they got split up.
Kale: So what would the lady like?
Glass: Death. Just death. Figures; I go to a fancy restaurant and this shit happens.
Chandler: Heeeey? *hic* Bring over some red now, please!
Pamela: I swear to God when we get home you'll be on the couch for a week!
Penny: Ooooh my-
Sofia: That is some good shit right there.
Chandler: These things are so fun! Stairs. Staaaaaiiiiirs.
Pamela: You're actually a funny drunk, Chan. I changed my mind, let's split the red you ordered and get the hell home.
Chandler: So am I gonna get-?
Pamela: Don't push it.
Elin: YOU DID WHAT?
Daya: Yeah! We almost shipped Summer to...well, it was probably gonna be Forgotten Hollow or something, but-
Margot: Just say it. We failed. We failed you, Auntie Elin.
Daya: We did manage to find some packing tape and boxing before Dad noticed.
Elin: I have...one percent pride, let's say.
Margot: One per...*sniffs, wipes tear*
Summer: Is no-one gonna think about how traumatising that was for me or...
Daya:...Well no.
Summer: LOL we're ordering Kale a water and the cheapest appetiser even though it was his idea to come here.
Margot: Such is his lot in life, little shipping package, I mean sister.
Annabel: Didn't I tell you not wear that jacket?
Colt: Didn't I tell you not to wear that dress from our first date?
Annabel: That was-...OK, it was our second date, you asshole.
Colt: I guess we're both stuck in the past a little, but really, you have grey hair-
Annabel: Hey, and as if I don't know about your dye job!
Colt: Not relevant.
Annabel: VERY RELEVANT.
Colt: And we have three kids!
Annabel: HOLY SHIT WE DO
Colt: I swear you used to be smarter.
Kale: Glass, my companion-!
Glass: Peeing, and I'll string you up by your balls if you holler that across the restaurant again!
Elin: Don't worry Kale, half of all marriages end in failure!
Daya: Mum and Dad aren't going to-
Summer: Nah. She's tricking him and trying to destroy his emotional health! How naive you are, sister.
Daya: One more word...
Summer: I'll be shipped somewhere, I know-
Daya: Why you little-
Summer: I don't care. At least I won't have to see your face!
Elin: Girls, no lame insults at the table please.
Elin: *fake gasp* No I DON'T care how old you are, it's not an excuse. Think of something good or shut up!
Summer: But Auntie! Look at it!
Elin: AAGH!
Daya: OK screw you guys. Can we just eat our food?
Summer: Tetchy.
Daya: Little piece of post...
Kale: Yeah. Can you believe? We're on a d- ah, ah, ah dammit Glass f*ck shit owwwww-!
Glass: Sometimes I do love my heels.
Waiter: I like a feisty woman-
Glass: I will break your foot.
Waiter: Uh, OK-
Glass: Sorry, you've consigned yourself to a bad review, asshead!
Fatima: Sincere apologies; I forgot how to person. Now where's that damn notepad...
Glass: I'm going to forgive you this time, because you're dumb and emotionally stunted, plus I already made a two-cm hole in your thigh.
Kale: It hurts so bad Glass...
Glass: I know. I know. But even though we're in the same lifestage now I helped raise you as a child, so this is just part of the learning curve.
Kale: Owww...
Glass:...And also shows how creepy this scenario is, Kale, so get it together, really...
Elin: We don't-
Daya: Know her.
Elin: Don't cut me off, or I'll-
Margot: I know! I know! She'll harm you Daya! BADLY.
Elin: Are you dumb? Seriously, Margot, what did I just say?
Summer: *drools on floor*
-5 as well, YAY FAIL CHILD.
Skyler: Too cool for this shiz.
Vaughn: Too lame to swear.
Skyler: You daring me? 'Cos I will.
Vaughn: Prove it.
They'd all finished and I didn't want Summer to pass out again so I used Glass's action to send 'em home.
Too bloody late.
Later...
Are you kidding me?
Summer: I'm huuuungry.
OK yeah you didn't finish your food at the restaurant but STILL! Stay asleep and eat in the morning like a normal person!
Summer:...Nah.
(Place: Vesana's house, wherever that is)
Ashby: Ohhhh...
Vesana: OUT.
Ashby: Y'know what? Nash hasn't called me so nah. NAH.
(Kale's texts to Glass)
Kale: Yeah I got my life together whoo!
Kale: Got a girl pregnant, having a kid!
Kale: How do I deal with this Glass?
(Later...)
Kale: I think I'll just ignore it.
Kale: And her. Yeah, definitely her.
Kale: Good plan right?
Russell's a slut. Just saying...
Cassiel: DAMMIT well I guess that means I have to help you pay for more child support!
Russell: You betcha!
Cassiel: You're lucky you're my son and I love you...
Ida what. Why are you mourning for dead people?
...You're dead, you can see them whenever the hell you like.
Lie. LIE. LIIIIIIIES. Clinton/Boris Johnson/Trump/Cruz/whatever-politician has nothing on this shit.
Good.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
That is such bullshit.
Margot: What? I'm turning over a new leaf. *wink*
Ahhhh.
But still.
'Tis a huge lie.
This chapter has been enormous so next time there will be a birthday for Summer.
Right bye.
Oh, and here's YA Margot. She looked kinda stickly and gangly and a bit awkward throughout her teen years but she's really grown into herself now. (Not that she wasn't like, 500% more beautiful than I could ever aspire to be tho lol).
ALSO Vesana's house is full of toddlers, as well as Kale and one of Lyric's kids for some goddamn reason, so Ashby and Margot are moving out by themselves.
Kicking out this asshole who harassed Glass on vacation.
So long, Hamza Seddiki/Bear Bitch 2.
Score Sheet- 50
Single Births (18) +90
Twin Births (3) +30
Aspiration Tiers (55) +275
Aspiration (7) +70
Grade A (5) +25
Randomising everything for 1 gen (3) +30
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40
Every 100,000 simoleons (4) +80
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Pass Out (82) -410
Self Wetting (25) -125
Fires (6) -60
Fires (6) -60
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