6.9 - Failures Galore (like Kale's YA life)
A beautiful start.
-5.
Daya: Dude. Why are you staring at me?
Then I realised he had not aged up for some reason, so I fixed that.
Daya: Brah. Now it's really creepy. Quit. Do you want to be socked?
Margot: Darts piss people off, right?
Summer: *heavy breathing* 'Twas the sandwich!
Jesus! Someone clean it!
ISA! NU!
Isadora, one of my favourite spares, awesome twin sister, happy-go-lucky, sometimes sassy painter. And a mother of three kids who are making their own lives now...RIP Isadora.
Glass: I wanted to play, Daya!
Glass. Kid's eight. Leave it.
Summer: What's that green stuff?
Child neglect.
Summer: That's green?
Meanwhile...
Glass: Q better not be stepping out on me!
Quinton: Bottle friend! You have forsaken me!
Yeah, y'all suck.
Yeah, y'all suck.
Ashby: Do I really look like that?
YES. Yes you freaking do! Get in the house!
Daya is watching 'Civic Public Access', whatever the heck is that.
Grainy TV Dude: Aaaaand Iiiiiiiiiiii will always love yoooouuuuu-!
Daya: Yeah...no. The power of remote compels you to STFU.
Kale: Aeroplanes! Makes up for the lack of maternal affection I receive!
Margot: Yeah, yeah get this Kale. I'm sitting here in a random bra, covered in filth, and still my life is better than yours! Isn't that funny! *bursts out laughing*
Kale: Well. At least I have food.
Lucas is here again.
Lucas: How best to win her?
Lucas: OK never mind.
Margot: Who is that sad man? Even like this I'm better than-
With Kale I sorta agree but Lucas? Nah fam. Get a shower and maybe you'll be right.
Ida: BOWLS! Worse than that Celery kid who lives here!
Kale: Yeah ladies! Get a piece of me! Kale the wish-stealing CHICKEN!
I'm sure they're flocking.
Glass went to sit next to her daughter and Ashby got right up!
Ashby: Nope nope. Ashbira says no. Definitely not.
Glass just shakes it off though.
Glass: Ha! Ashley thought I was here for her? Nope, these seats are closest to the fridge and I want Q's pasta in my belly!
OK so maybe Ida isn't the only bad parent around here,
Vesana is married! So now everyone in this Gen (apart from Kale for obvious reasons...and other reasons too lol) is married.
Quinton: More sparkles! *shakes Summer*
Summer: BLOOD RUSH HELP
More excellent parenting.
Summer: Father...your time shall come.
Quinton: What? What was that.
Summer: *keeps creepy stare* *innocent giggle*
Elin: *glares at Summer* Didn't come here for more babies!
Why oh why do you come over at stupid hours? I indulge you bc you're one of my faves,
Elin: God! Everything about children is just stupid! Why did I even have a baby?
Uni: *sorrowful shake of the head* It's a tough life we lead, brother.
Elin: How to give up a baby without your husband's consent...this might be hard.
EL.
Elin: I have my ways.
Elin: A blessing, Q? A blessing my freakin' ASS! Why would you-
Quinton: Yeah Elin? You might have a point. I only just got Summer to sleep. So I'm really not in the mood for your rantings.
Elin: YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT YET? When does the suffering end?
Quinton: Child stage. They get so self-sufficient!
*credits roll*
Glass: Well that was a waste of time! Where was the artistry? THE PASSION?
Glass doesn't often let her snob trait show; normally she seems like a sassy, loving, if slightly demented woman. But moodlets gotta moodlet.
Ashby: Ashbira can child correctly. First, you place it in a sauna, no?
Summer: *lip wobble* I don't like this lady...
Q you fantastic man!
Blarffy and Uni, meet Drago.
Drago: Smile, guys! There's lots of kids here! We'll have fun.
Blarffy: Oh Drago. Do you wanna know how I got these scars?
Uni: Oh man...you have a lot to learn.
Blarffy: See? That's dollhouse. She never stays alive for too long.
Uni: We're stronger.
Blarffy: But not quite invincible. And every time they come near us, those crazy children hurt us even more.
Drago: ...
Kale: So how was your day?
Lucas: *growl*
Kale: Oh! Good! Yeah, that test was terrible.
Lucas: *mutters* Stop talking...
Kale: Ugh, and Mum's just going to call me Carrot and say I'm a failure child again. Can't do anything right...
Lucas: That you can't...
I got a notification that Del's wife had a baby. She also has a teenage son. Del is also going to have a kid, so they'll have a nice blended family. I have a soft spot for nontraditional families.
(She says, after six gens of very traditional family setups)
Lucas: Million bucks? More like one!
Ashby: Well, this food isn't very good...*keeps eating anyway*
Lucas: Ha! You seeking comfort in food?
Ashby: Bitch, I was eating before I saw you!
Lucas: Two dollar person!
Ashby: *sigh* Why do you keep letting this kid come over?
Kale: You are the worst, you- you CAR!
Daya: *grins* And thus, the superiority of my life is confirmed.
I agree, hon. I agree.
Wow Quinton. Way to be an a-hole.
Ida: Why would you deny me my sleep?
Summer: So I can't go through windows?
Quinton: Let me consult the manuals...
Kale: Hey there, TRASH-HEAP? Guess how awesome I am?
Margot: *chews hotdog* *pause* Too awesome to go near you, which is good for you considering that I want to roundhouse kick you in the face.
Kale: But...I wish steal! You do nothing!
Margot: Apart from rule at life? OK then.
Blarffy: There you have it, Drago, the worst of them all. Look at that loathsome thing.
Drago: O__O
Glass: I hate the world. *stabs*
Ashby: Mum.
Glass: *shrug*
Ashby: Mum pls I'll give you money.
Glass: Money won't fix the world, will it?
Ashby: Yeah, but it might fix your daughter's lungs, which you have impaled with a plate.
Glass: *shrug*
Ashby: *cough hack wheeze*
Glass: Faker.
Aw Ashby. You done good, considering your mother stabbed you with a plate three hours ago.
Ida: So my son has abandoned his cake mix?
To feed Summer, but yes.
Ida: *sigh* Women, we do it all in the end. And anyway, I don't have the capability to feed Summer as efficiently as Q would, and I'm a better cook, so-
Yeah Ida! Cake boss! And...awesome person who knows about the game mechanics!
Summer: I can dance!
Quinton: Yeah you can!
Summer: I have ascended to a higher plane of existence due to my new skill!
Quinton: OK seriously there's no need to make it weird.
My thoughts exactly, Q.
Quinton: Wut.
Ida: I don't know son. Honestly what.
Summer: Obviously that huge block tried to eat you, Dad! God, you people sadden me. Who wouldn't know that?
Madalyn, my favourite Isa kid, had her child! Why couldn't Isa live like a day longer...
Summer: Hey there WRINKLYFACE!
Ida: Kid. Kid I raised six children, three of which have the insane trait. I'm used to insults and I deal them out myself on the plenty. So get it together!
Summer: Whatever.
...
Summer: Wrinklyface.
ASHBY
Margot: So what did you do today?
Summer: Potty!
Margot: Glad I was never your age.
Oh look, there's Daya in the background ignoring her flashing exhausted moodlet.
Daya: I don't NEED sl-
Another one bites the dust.
Ashby: She said whaaat? Jesus, come up with a better comeback, lady. Ashbira is bulletproof.
Summer: *pouts* It....it touched me! It put its peasant hands on me!
Kale: I just want someone to like me...
Sorry Kale. It's just...you're you. But I will give you points for successfully getting her to bed.
Del had her kid.
Apparently Matt's wife was also pregnant before she married him so now he has a stepdaughter.
I don't particularly feel like taking someone to a restaurant that will most likely be chaotic and glitchy tonight. Sorry Bronson. I know Ida's outliving you by a long time. You'll see each other again soon.
:( I actually felt so bad rejecting him.
Daya: You'll never guess what the banisters said today-?
(I'm pretty sure I put that part of your personality to rest like three chapters ago but never mind).
Margot: Alright...
Much evil, very Elin, lots of Public Enemy.
Margot: I'm encouraging her burgeoning insanity. How is that not evil?
True.
Daya: What?
Margot: *wink* Tell me what the banisters said, sweetie.
That night Vesa had her son, Weston.
Summer: Ugh. Yogurt? Seriously woman? I'd rather eat a penguin.
Daya: That's weird, right banister? Jesus.
Glass: Where did I go wrong?
Daya: Seriously. So weird.
Q is level eight of his career!
Glass also got promoted. She's now level four, and because of all the kids she's still 11 days away from adult (Q is probably going to age up this chapter).
HOW IN THE.
Kale: FIX ME.
No.
It's almost his birthday...let's finish this chapter when he ages up, how about that? Let's finish on the high note of being rid of you, Kale.
Ida: Eating pasta for breakfast in the unfinished bathroom, lalalalala...
Kale: Hehe. Hai.
Ida: Ignoring my stupid kid, lalalalalala....
Glass's fourth outfit! Why do you never wear it, Glass?
Quinton: Nothing says I love you like eating ancient fruit salad while your loving husband cooks fresh eggs.
Glass: Oh shut up, Q, at least I don't disappear for half the night four times a week.
Quinton: Job.
Glass: That's what you say.
Quinton: It's my job.
Glass: Hm.
Quinton: Now, bottle friends, don't let me down here...
Voila! Child Summer, complete with gloomy trait and artistic prodigy aspiration, as well as a black City Living Outfit.
Summer: Blah blah, sadness, the void.
Reluctant emo? OK.
Quinton: Wow, something smells-
Summer: Yeah, it's not like you left me to wallow in my own filth all morning, Dad.
Quinton: -good?
Margot: Well-
Kale: Don't.
Margot: Kale, you look like a twat, and that sweater doesn't even match the shorts. Also, no-one likes you, not even your mother, you're lame, and you get your kicks by 'stealing wishes' lol.
Summer: I AM NOT SATISFIED.
Kale: Hehe. Life? I win it.
Lucas: Dude. DUDE. Kid's standing in a puddle of her own pee. Of course you have this.
Kale: Ayyyy Lucas! I knew you liked me! Sweet!
Lucas: It's more of a default thing, dumbass.
After Summer showered, Ida got an invite to the spice festival, and naturally everyone was brought.
What the shit Bjorn.
And where is this festival? Dammit Lexie, should have known better than to take an invitation from you of all people.
Ah-ha I found it.
Summer: JESUS this is a safety risk.
Quinton: Don't cry don't cry don't cry.
Margot: *choke* You totally want - *internally sobbing* to cry!
Ashby: God-damn.
Lexie: I'M ON FIRE AH!
Kale: I still win.
Ida: Hehe...he isn't even eating, but he thinks he's winning a food challenge...hahaha *eye twitches*
Q is an adult!
Alina: Heelllooooo
Girl please, no-one's that desperate.
Anyway, the Spice Festival is kind of dead and laggy so I'm taking the fam to a different lot.
The Arts Centre, where they will of course stand outside randomly and do stupid things instead of enjoying what's inside.
Glass: I'm a chipmunk...
Ashby: No I'M a chipmunk...
Ida must've won the curry challenge.
Ida: I am a winner! At life, hon.
Kale: I'm not a loser! That's just what everyone says...
Summer: Please, Kale. Everybody knows...
Ida: Why did my final child have to be such a moron...
I will go down with this ship, I swear. These two might just be my favourites.
Ida: See that Kale? See your brother, his pretty wife, and their happy marriage? That will never be you.
Kale: *whimpering*
Summer: *snickering under breath*
Meanwhile...
Glass: Why didn't you take out the trash?
Quinton:...NanoCan?
Glass: Don't BS me Q!
Back to Ida's poor mothering skills...
Kale: Well...I don't care what you say, you BAT! Old BAT, that's right.
Ida: Sweet Jesus it's trying to insult me.
Summer: I wonder if he notices I stole his phone.
Ida: What the hell kind of overinflated self-image does he have to think he can insult ME?
Summer: Well, that Lucas person is totally gonna hate him now.
Ida: It actually thinks it can hurt me.
Kale: Yeah! BAT!
Ida: Dear God.
Kale: Why Summer? Why?
Summer: Erm. Clearly because it's hilarious to heighten your failures.
Ida: Nice, nice, kid...this is some good trolling.
Glass: If you think this will make me forget about the trash...
Quinton: Of course not. But a rose like this belongs with a woman as exquisite as yourself.
Glass: You're sappy.
Quinton: What are you gonna do?
Glass: Obviously I'm going to take it.
Kale: Summer give it.
Summer: ...No.
Kale: *enraged monkey noises*
Summer: I don't think someone with that level idiocy needs a phone.
Ida: That's my son.
Anaya: Getting owned by a five year old?
Ida: Yup.
Anaya: Poor you.
Well, Ida, at least you have four fairly awesome grandchildren.
These two look really similar.
Margot: Clearly I have more awesome.
I don't know about that, Margot. Q is pretty awesome.
Margot: This clay is merely a stand-in for future enemies at this point in my life. Soon, I will no longer need it.
Sorry hon, Elin already has that covered.
Margot: Well....well...she's gonna die soon, y'know!
Nah. Sorry.
Quinton: Damn right I am awesome. Much more than you, child.
Margot: Do you wanna motherf*cking go? Fight me.
No.
Margot: But I'm a Public-
NO.
Summer: AH!
What the hell?
Kale: Hehehehe now I win.
Anaya: Jeez kids...she still has your phone, by the way.
Summer: *winces* Yeah you might need a new one...
Right, that's it, you're all going home.
Juanita: What? It's kind of comfy.
Kale: Mother I love you-
Ida: Kale that's not even how you hold a hand and SUMMER GET THE HELL OUT - oh, and that goes for you too, dumbass.
Summer: Is Grandma losing it?
Grandma never had it.
Later.
Ida: Did I not just tell you-
Summer: Kick the ball, peg friends.
Elin: This is still better than being home with the baby.
*throws hands up* It's three am! Go home! No-one is letting you in!
Elin: I wanna be where the people are...
Ida: Your plate is in my ass.
Summer: Exactly.
Maybe I'm doing you a favour keeping you outside, El.
Isadora's kid had her baby.
Elin: Cooking a group meal? For shame, supposed protege.
Margot: I am less cliched in my evil than you, Auntie Elin. See that stuff? Trans fat.
Elin: I like it.
Margot: I knew you would. Never doubt me.
Margot moved on to tofu dogs...
Glass: What was that?
Margot: Nothing, mother.
Glass: Listen girl, I cook. I know you put in something that shouldn't be in there-
Margot: Nothing, mother.
Glass: Margot what even-
Margot: Nothing mother.
Glass: *backs away*
Family time.
Summer: I know you're just doing this for your aspiration.
Quinton: Shhhhh
Glass: Tell me what you did.
Margot: ...No.
Glass: Aha, so you did something.
Margot: Damn you're good. But it was nothing really.
Glass: *narrows eyes*
Daya: But you can't use the loo, Kale. I'm using it! THE ONLY ONE.
Kale: OH NO
Margot: He does know...
Ashby: Ashbira, meet your best friend FRIDGE!
Margot: But she definitely doesn't know...
Ashby: These don't seem right...but I know this recipe...
Margot: Hehe.
Daya: Well well, have fun, Uncle.
Kale: :(
Margot and Kale: Something smells...
Margot: Ew, we had the same thought. My brain will never be the same again...
Kale: Is it you, Ash?
Margot: Yeah, is it?
Ashby: Oh you idiots! It's a dirty plate that's right in front of your frickin' eyes! What the HELL?
Margot: Nice cup of - wait, KALE made this. My mouth will never be clean again!
Ashby: Something smells? Oh, it's your POOR LIFE DECISIONS!
What the hell, the girls were good friends this morning!
Margot: Well screw you Ashby!
Ashby: I don't care for her tone...but I also can't be arsed to do anything about it. To the microscope!
IDA NO PLEASE.
Margot: Listen up BEAR! I'm going to pretend you're my bitch sister Ashby, and you're going to go along with it.
Blarffy: It begins...
Drago: Better you than me.
Blarffy: Shut u-
Blarffy: My head's ringing. What was going on?
Margot: DIE IN A FIERY PIT-
Uni: What the heck mate, we're made out of stuffing...?
Blarffy: Oh by now we are so much more than that!
Yeah. I personify you guys too much.
Summer: I'm saaaaad...
Daya: And I don't know how to deal with this-
WTFFFFFFFF.
Yeah, he's ageing up the next day but this is so creepy! He's still a teen! And even if he was a fresh YA, it would still be weird, Geoffrey, because you're like your fifties. WHAT THE HECK, GAME.
Drago: It's been a hard day for you, hasn't it?
Blarffy: It's OK...*gets socked in eye*...I CAN HANDLE IT.
Wow, Ida, thanks so much for standing outside for an hour instead of going to bed.
-5.
This is either Kale's fourth or fifth coffee.
Daya: And next on my list of things that are better than you...
Kale: Can't...see...can't keep still...
Didn't get pics but basically, after passing out, Ida went outside, stood by the horseshoe pit for about an hour and a bit, played like one round and then decided to go to bed.
-5!
Kale: Hello Glass. I think you're the only one who likes me.
Glass: Now that's not true.
Kale: Really? *lip quivers*
Glass: Of course. I don't like you. Now get outta this sauna.
Summer: So has Lucas contacted you since-?
Kale: *sigh* No.
Summer: Ah well. Objectively it was quite funny, no?
Glass: *snickering*
Kale: I frigging hate you all.
Glass: Seriously, that was a good one, hon.
Summer: Awesomesauce! Now, if I can borrow-
Glass: Summer, I love you, but if you do that to me you die. Simple as that.
Lyric's son knocked up this woman.
And both of her daughters got married.
Bronson: Small child, out of my way...
Bronson! Finally!
Bronson: WTH are you talking about with 'finally'? You're the one who only just took my grave out of the inventory.
*ducks head in shame*
Summer: Um.
Bronson: Don't worry, this often happens.
Glass: See. I'm totally normal.
Kale is insane! Yaaaay. So that's four of Ida's kids that got the trait. Even though I knew this before Q's generation started, there was no way in hell I was thinking of using him as TH.
Anyway, I told you he'd have a batshit personality.
Bye Kale. Go and live your life. He has been moved in with Vesana and will probably remain there for a while before someone takes pity.
OK, I said we'd end the chapter with this dipshit leaving so-
Oh, wait, ONE MORE THING.
GODDAMMIT SUMMER. You're cute and sassy and I wanna like you but you're FAILTASTIC. Seriously girl, get it together.
Right. Chapter over. Next time, Daya ages into a teen and Ashby into a YA. I will also be offering up an heir poll for Gen 7. Ashby is already insane, so it will be between her and one of the other girls...
Score Sheet- 65 (you IDIOTS)
Single Births (18) +90
Twin Births (3) +30
Aspiration Tiers (55) +275
Aspiration (7) +70
Grade A (5) +25
Randomising everything for 1 gen (3) +30
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40
Every 100,000 simoleons (4) +80
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Pass Out (72) -360
Self Wetting (24) -120
Fires (6) -60
Fires (6) -60
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