6.7 - Lag, Birthdays and Other Shit
Kale: Wait, so dead means I'll never see him again?!
Where have you been Kale. WHERE.
Grim: Ahaha! I love it when they cry.
Kale: Grim! Dude, that's messed up!
Grim: Well I am the Grim Reaper-
Ida: Maya, is it? Shut the f up or I'll poke out your little eyes.
A+ babycare from everyone.
Daya: Halp.
Daya: Nope. Guess again, peasant.
Kale: Ehm...
Daya: Hmm. He's unsure and confused. I like it.
Ida mourns her husband...
Ida: And to top this off, my feet are stuck in a fence!
They really are.
The girls return from school, completely unaffected by the death.
Ashby: The Great Ashbira imbues you with calm and contentness...once you stop snotting up all over my dress.
Margot: These tiny people bend to my whims...I like it.
Oh God, you're being weird again.
Margot: I REALLY REALLY LIKE IT.
Ashby: I'm GREAT at this.
Kale: Nobody loves me.
Ida: You expect me to deal with the boy's feelings?
Kale: I just don't think anyone appreciates me, Ashby.
Ashby: -__- The Great Ashbira wishes for you to STFU.
Elin texts all the time. I didn't take a picture but she texted her mother and brother about their birthdays.
Ashby: You are interesting.
Daya: And you can't help me! NOBODY CAN HELP ME.
Yas.
+5.
Glass: Haaaaai friends.
Um. Those are stereos.
You really are a Sutherland now.
Glass: No ice, Q? Amateur.
Right, so the TH who does everything is an amateur, but you, the woman drinking at 4am, are not.
Wow. Kale is salty.
Also they're about to WooHoo so pls leave.
Kale. Honestly.
Lol, Glass's face.
Glass: I'm gonna puke and I'm really mad about it.
Ida: OK, so I seriously ballsed it up with the eyelash curler last night.
Kale: Oh world, why do I have to take care of Daya?
Daya: You don't have to. I'd honestly rather starve than have you guess again. PEASANT.
Glass: Baby!
I'm half-regretting this already tbh.
Please be blue please be blue.
Ida! Go to work! Seriously!
Ida: What? I'm grieving! Surely I'm entitled to a day off?
Well, yes, but you have to call ahead for that.
Ida: Oh no, they'll understand.
*sigh* Ida sucks at having a job.
Elin invited Q over, and he doesn't have work today, so I let him go. He brought the fam as well.
*sigh*
Jordon: Look, I have no lips.
Ida: Even Elin could do better than this.
Quinton: *muffled*
Lexie: Why are you mad?
Lyric: *growls*
Lexie: Seriously! I wanna know!
Lyric: BECAUSE. You don't put plastic down the drain! Lexie, you are nearly 40 years old, act like an actual ADULT.
Lexie: Well I didn't know! No-one just knows that stuff. And I didn't even do it to you!
Lyric: EVERYONE KNOWS! And that's not the point moron!
I think I might understand why Lyric is so pissed off whenever we see her.
Ida: Congratulations darling...
Elin: Halp.
Jordon: Do you know why Elin's eighty-year old aunt is doing crunches on the pavement?
Quinton: No. No-one knows. Our family tends to be a little cracked.
Jordon: Uh...OK? Yeah man. Sure. Come round, play some video games.
Quinton: Sure bud. But I'm watching you.
Jordon: Right?
Elin: Come on husband. Don't break. Or I'll break you properly later...
Ida: Never use cloth diapers, I'm telling you.
Jordon: You're the sister?
Vesana: Yeah. I've been waiting for you.
Jordon: So you have. Why?
Vesana: Just... waiting.
Isadora: If you hurt Elin. I will stab you.
Jordon: But...I'm not? *sigh* Why does everyone in this family want to threaten me?
Elin: I'm the baby. Apart from Kale, but no-one likes him. So let them, or I could always go somewhere else. And leave you. Here. With nothing.
Jordon: You are a cruel wife.
Elin: Um. I think you mean cruel person. Don't get confused, hon.
Isadora: Nice one, El.
What the f*cking shit. That just...sounds wrong.
Later...
Vesana: Wimp. Why's he crying, El?
Elin: Who even knows. Good job anyway, Vesa.
Right, let's just go.
Ashby, take a shower. Please.
Ashby: This is...ehm...the great green Ashbira smoke. I shall allow it to remain until after I get my snack.
Sure Jan.
Quinton: I'm pretty sure this is what the manuals said...
Ida: It was you! The second he saw that stupid backwards hat he keeled right over and DIED Kale I hope you're happy.
Kale: Mother-!
Ida that's wrong stop.
Ida: What am I saying... I'm sorry son, can you forgive me? I hate your hat but it was old age that did him in.
Kale: I don't know...can I stab you with this fork? We can talk then.
As Ida was being a terrible parental figure...
This happened.
Dammit Q.
Ida: OK, so now you nearly blinded me. Are we even?
Kale: Sure, Mother.
Ida:*splutter* OK Kale, stop, you're going to choke me!
Kale: I'm just so happy you forgave me, Mother.
*shudder*
Nooo.
RIP Caiphus. You were easily my favourite spouse of a spare (second place goes to Tasha, Pietro's long-suffering wife back in the day.) Have a nice afterlife, Caiphus, and thank you MCCC for marrying this guy to my girl Isa.
Quinton: You cake! It was you! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE-!
WHAT IS UP WITH THE BLAMING AROUND HERE?
Quinton: It distracted me from my repairs, thus I was shocked!
THAT IS YOUR FAULT, DON'T BLAME CAKE, CAKE IS INNOCENT AND DELICIOUS.
Glass got promoted to Level 3!
Lexie's attempt to get her wife to settle down into married life.
Daya has aged up! She is a Rambunctious Scamp who is a perfectionist like her Auntie Del.
Daya: New form, hell yeah!
Quinton: There's sparkles EVERYWHERE...
Daya: Not my problem.
I kinda like you, kid.
Also. For literally your whole babyhood you were white. I figured it was just Ida's skintone coming back. Turns out you have Q's skin. What.
Daya: Again, not my problem. Glitches, glitches.
She's super cute and looks a lot like Glass, but with Quinton's mouth and skintone.
Warning: this chapter may be super-long because I'm trying to play to Ashby's teen birthday (yeah it's that time already guys!)
Quinton: BURN SCRAMBLE BURN
Quinton may be one of the saner heirs but he's still a Sutherland w/ the insane trait.
Daya: Well, that guy failed.
WELL, you're the one controlling him.
Daya: Well, your mother.
HEY MY MOTHER IS - alive and well, actually. Neh. *sticks tongue out at child*
Quinton: I want it to burn things! >:)
*backs away slowly*
Ashby: Ashbira. Must. Get da scramble.
*sigh* You guys were getting so good at just f*cking going! C'mon.
Ashby: Oh, and, uh - ahem, totally skipping to keep Daya company too.
BULLSHIT.
Glass: So I got the pancakes out! Good job, Glass! Now...
Ida: Uhm. Seriously. No pregnancy brain is that bad. What the heck.
Daya: Sister come to me and we shall BOND!
Um. Daya. Seriously.
Margo: Uh. No. Time to hide.
Daya: She knows I can see her...right?
Turns out Daya is prescient! *throws up hands*
Can't believe I'm saying this, but KALE is the good one. Freaking stupid KALE. I hope you girls are proud of yourselves.
Margot: Kind of. I jumped off a bus going at 60mph.
You should be dead.
Ashby: You jumped?
Margot: Yeah, you told me to.
Ashby: Silly silly. Great Ashbira meant for you to get off where the bus stops for the Goth kid.
Margot: The bus doesn't stop for the Goth kid...
Ashby: Exactly. So I got off all the way back at the Munch house. Ashbira has outsmarted you.
Margot: You die tonight.
Ashby: I wouldn't be so sure. You cheated death already...
Margot: Death is too scared to take me. She knows nothing.
Ashby: AEROPLANES FOR ASHBIRA
Margot: And she's an amateur.
Daya: Everything about you is soooo last season, hon.
Uni: *sigh*
Blarffy (from other room): Yeeeeessss, yesssss, this has been my plan all along.
To get Uni picked on instead? The hell kind of friend are you?
Blarffy: To survive here, one must not know friendship.
I actually think you may have a point.
Ashby: I IMBUE YOU WITH ZEN.
Uni: I'm OK really, Miss Ashby...
Ashby: Um. My title please. AND ACCEPT MY ZEN OR I RIP OUT ALL THAT BEAUTIFUL STUFFING!
Blarffy: There can be no friendship here! *solemn head bow*
Ashby: QUIT CONVERSATION-BOMBING YA DUMBASS BEAR!
Uni: Much zen.
Ashby: SHUT UP YOU HORNED FREAK!
Blarffy: Abuse. So much abuse.
OK so I only got this pic but all three girls did their homework.
Really? You guys are conflicted as f*ck.
Apart from Daya, who wasn't even supposed to go in today and is just getting a head start.
Popup: Margot and Ashby are now Good Friends.
Damn, if you are then you're looking really awkward.
Margot: Watcher, we have a special friendship.
Ashby: I'm just busy...
Margot: Also I'm working on being more like Auntie Elin.
*headslam into table*
Margot: Um. You have an exam in less than three hours and you're messing about, don't judge. Now what should I dead?
Oh, you have such a weird personality.
Margot: Who's fault is that?
Ashby: ASHBIRA DEMANDS YOU SHUT UP.
Daya: Hot damn, I did not know stairs got up to so much!
JUST GO AND DO SOMETHING OH MY GOD.
Ricky: Fabulous.
Indeed, Rick, indeed. You're better than my Sims...
Quinton got ANOTHER invite to hang out with Elin, so I brought over the usuals + Daya, who gets to come because she isn't skipping school. *narrows eyes at older two*
Margot: HAHAHAHAHAHA-
Quinton: How are you, Isa?
Isadora: *shrug* Better than you, Quint.
Quinton: Ohhhh really? Because your husband DIED! Booyah!
Daya: Dad, that's like...really inappropriate.
Margot: -AHAHAHAHAHA DEAD THINGS
Isadora: Yeah OK Quinton, sure you're doing better than me.
Matt: Wow Lexie, you're looking....
Lexie: One more word....
Matt: Mature?
Lyric: Why do you people keep trying to make me hang out with you?
Ashby: I spy with my little eye, two people who are going to die alone.
Del: I've accepted it...
Vesana: No you haven't.
Also, apparently Del's a chef now.
I don't remember her cooking, but I also don't remember her setting any fires, so have a ball, Del.
Ashby: ASSSHHHHBIIIIIRRRAAAA
Daya: This family scares me.
You, the girl who talks to bannisters.
Daya: They get up to a lot of crazy shit, OK? Don't hate a girl for liking her goss.
Elin: I don't know why you're whining! I mean, it's true! I'm the superior evil, I have a husband, and I'm going to have a new minion.
Vesana: *growls*
Elin: Oh for God's sake...you're not still bitter about the blind date, are you?
Vesana: You. Nearly. Got me. Killed.
Elin: Totally an accident, sister...
OK I'm listening.
Vesana: How? How could you not know they worked for Mobwives?
Elin: Well, I didn't ask too many questions.
Quinton: Aren't you supposed to ask those questions-
Elin: Shut up Q. Anyhow, none of it was my fault, and we're going to end this discussion now.
Quinton: I have so many questions. So many.
Daya: Oh look. You've been impaled.
I think I'm just going to take these idiots home.
Daya: Sports is for losers.
Then change the channel.
Daya: Ha! You think I'm going to get up?
OK fair enough.
YES ASHBY. I was worrying the tradition would be broken.
Ashby: I will explode you. Sorry, kinda had to make that threat.
Blarffy: So this is the last pic of me you're going to take for a while? Good. Good.
Margot: Don't worry! We won't hurt you.
Daya: We're super-nice, Uncle Kale.
Kale: ...
Or...
Daya: -stupid backwards-hat wearing prick-
Kale: Dumb little girl too big for her boots...
Margot: Ha! As if! I have the best boots!
Can we not have a repeat of the hand thing again guys...
Quinton: Bottle friends, tower up!
Daya: I will stand out here forever.
Not a smart idea dearie.
Bronson: So how's it been going?
Eh. Everyone's fine now.
Child what are you plotting.
Daya please go to bed.
Bronson: CURSES! Even in death I can't pass the fricking level!
Bronson: Ah screw it. *dives in* Yeah, this is what's important.
Haunting the disused easel? OK then, you're dead so I don't care.
Daya: Ahhh! I can't look! Ahhhh!
Bronson: OK so maybe I don't need to meet all my grandchildren!
Daya: Ah the ugly!
Bronson: Ow. I'm hurt.
Ghost Bronson, you're actually alright. No breakages, and you're cleaning the sink.
This is literally the most useful you've been since you were like a YA or something.
Glass: What did you put in here?
Quinton: Nothing!
Glass: Well it tastes like shit! It's supposed to be waffles!
Quinton: ...
Glass: ...Explanation?
Quinton: It's a bowl of soup?
Glass: *growls*
Quinton: Ah shit.
Ida: BODY SLAM!
Ida you will break your back.
Blarffy: END THE SUFFERING
Quinton: I look boss. Yeah. You know it, pancakes! Whoo!
Oh, and we moved house.
My game was lagging like crazy so I thought moving to a smaller house might help with that.
Quinton: *scratch scratch*
Glass: Serves you right. I wanted waffles.
Quinton: *mutters* OK that's not even a recipe-!
Y'know what? Let's see what Ida's doing.
Ida: Ooh-ooh it's just me myself and I, solo ride until I die - lulz psych!
What?
Ida: I got the franks and beans! THEY CARE THEY CARE
Ida.
Stop.
Ashby: It was funny and you know it...
Daya: White trousers, Ashby.
Ashby: So? I broke in the lab afterwards and you were fine.
Daya: White. Trousers.
Kale: *sigh* Ow. *whispers* Don't cry don't cry don't cry...
Lucas: Ha! Dude, you got so many tears I could make my own river!
Ashby: Hey. Hey Uncle Kale. HEY!
Kale: Yeah?
Ashby: Great news - we're all bunking together!
Kale: ...
Ashby: Me, you, Margot, Daya, the new one when it ages up...
Kale: *dies on the inside a little* How is that gonna work...?
Ashby: Well, there's Margot's special book from Auntie Elin...don't ask, and then I do my Ashbira exercises, and Daya doesn't have a fully-formed personality yet so we don't know her quirk but she's gonna have one soon...
Kale: D:
Lucas: I'm not sure I like this place...
Margot: Ohhhh Lu-caaaasss...come play with me.
Lucas: Aw. Does the poor widdle baby want the computer?
Kale: It's mine-
Lucas: Awww, poor whiny little BABY-
Kale: OK listen up, I have to share my room with three girls-
Lucas: You sure you haven't been doing that all your life?
Kale: I SLEPT IN THE HALLWAY - ahem, I mean my parents loved me and I had a great room kthxbai.
Lucas: ....?
Later...
Kale: I'mma sleep.
Ashby: Fine. But I've been practicing a new nightly Ashbira chant!
Margot: Yeah, and make sure to avoid my bed, I've been working on a new trap...it's either the green one nearest the wall or the other green one.
Ashby: Goodnight, sleep tight, Uncle Kale.
Kale: ALLOW ME REST
Hehehehe.
Daya: HEY! HEY! I gotta PEE! KALE! GUESS WHAT! I GOTTA PEE!
Kale: *whimper*
Daya: This won't do. *shakes head, tuts*
Daya go to bed. Don't make this a nightly thing I swear to God.
Daya: OK! When I find a real gun, that is.
Nope. No guns. This is Sims.
And you too Glass!
Glass: What? Exercise is good for you.
You don't make sense!
Glass: You stuck me in a house full of people who don't either. What did you think would happen?
I thought you might be the first sane-ish spouse since...IDK, Nat?
Glass: Sinks make me think good.
Only in the Sims can you get a scientific breakthrough due to the fact that you washed the dishes.
Glass: I AM A KILLER CHIPMUNK!
Daya: That's actually kind of awesome!
Glass: AND I HAVE GUNS!
Daya: :D
Guys please.
Glass: I am a killer chipmunk. You wanna know my secret?
Ida: I want what you're having.
Glass: Uhm, a cute face, squeaking abilities and murderous tendencies?
Ida: No. I want whatever you had for breakfast.
Glass: Pasta?
Ida: Oh dear, we've infected her.
Glass: Elbows are good for the baby.
Ida: What? You think I care? GOOD ONE.
Ida: OK, honey, sometimes your mother - and me, for that matter - might say some stuff, but-
Daya: Mum is awesome! She's a killer chipmunk! You're just a - a - depressing dolphin!
Ashby: Pissing off Uncle Kale? Check! Became an even greater Ashbira? Check check! Oh, today's gonna be wonderful.
Kale, I swear to God.
Again, it was fine.
Glass!
You're cleaning!
THANKS.
Kale: OK, the point is that you three are literally the worst roommates-!
Ashby: I'm actually not going to argue with you. But I'm also going to make no effort to improve.
Oh look, it's Elin's husband.
Jordon: My eyebrows are nearly touching AND I've almost caught a fish! What a day, what a day, Schell...
Cap dude: Ohhhh, I love this guy. *shakes his head*
Kale: Time to wish-steal! I do not give up!
Kale.
You're supposed to be in school.
Stahp.
Glass: Shouldn't you be in school, BOY?
Kale: Ummm...nope?
Glass: Try again, Mister.
Kale: You're stabbing me.
Glass: Oh, I know. Why aren't you in school?
Someone's missing...
Yeah, it's Ida. Ida, what's up with that?
Ida: No, it's chill. Me and the boy decided we weren't feeling it today. I'm just gonna go to bed and eat some pasta.
*facepalm* You suck at your job! She's still at level 2!
Kale.
Kale: I need that car!
I don't care, sit down, you're being really weird.
Kale: I shall obtain it with STOLEN WISHES!
KALE.
I'm so done with you.
Glass: So relaxi - uh, someone's gonna need to clean this thing out later.
Yay baby time!
(Please be blue, please be blue...)
Glass: What did you do with the baby?
Nothing, what did you do with it?
Glass: Nothing! Seriously, even killer chipmunks don't kill their own babies.
This is a glitch then, right?
Glass: YEP.
OH FFS.
This is bullshit.
On the plus side, the lag has gone down since I moved to the smaller house. So yay for the smaller house.
And BOO for the baby glitch.
Because I cba to try and work out how to fix this, I just went in CAS and made them a baby. (She was always going to be a girl, I just didn't reveal that because I like it when it's a surprise. So an all-girl gen (provided Q and Glass don't f up like the other gens))
OK I actually got a blue kid the first time and YAY. She has Q's hair and Glass's eyes, so she appears to be a nice genetic mix.
This is baby Summer, the first toddler of the Sutherland ISBI.
My new age settings will be 5-10-10, however I'm not changing that officially until the older kids grow up because I don't wanna mess with their ageing. So to make up for skipping the baby stage I'm going to keep Summer as a toddler for 7 days.
I rolled a dice for the toddler trait and Summer is clingy.
I don't expect Q to get much done now.
Summer: Um? Abandoned on the pavement? Really?
She's adorable ahhhh.
Ida: Ummm...what is that?
Summer: HEY! I'm still out here!
Ida: Uhhh...Quinton, barricade the doors! BARRICADE
This is such a great reaction shot for so many things OMG.
I love toddlers.
I'm really glad we got them.
Kale: If you're going to be my roommate...can you be nice?
Summer: Well now that you've asked, I'm going to be as awful as possible! Hm!
Ida: I always knew my son would get owned by a baby....I thought it would be funny...it's actually kind of sad.
Oh, and Summer is going to sleep in her parents' room until she grows up. Then...yeah, she's going to be bunking with you and the girls.
Kale: *sigh*
Ida: *laughs* Actually it is kind of funny.
ASHBY! You champ! +5.
Kale: If I get you sweets...
Summer: Hm! No! Try harder!
Lucas: He's such a loser...
Ida: Yeah...
Ida is such a loving mother.
Ida: Um. I had six. Do you expect me to give half a damn about the sixth one?
Aw Summer!
Summer: Climb. The. Mountain.
Summer: HEY! HEY LISTEN!
Ashby: Do not disturb me, for I have a Grade A and must celebrate.
The phone is literally the size of her head.
Oh and it's Ashby's birthday so this chapter is ending after I show off her teen self.
She's super pretty. She has Q's hair and skin tone, Glass's nose, lips and eye colour...and I think that's Ida's eye shape, but a bit bigger.
Next time Margot grows up as well.
Score Sheet- 95
Single Births (18) +90
Twin Births (3) +30
Aspiration Tiers (52) +260
Aspiration (6) +60
Grade A (5) +25
Randomising everything for 1 gen (3) +30
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40
Every 100,000 simoleons (4) +80
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Pass Out (66) -330
Self Wetting (19) -95
Fires (6) -60
Fires (6) -60
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