5.8- Sutherland Family Vacation
Scarlett: Back where I belong.
Way to have a boring first haunting woman.
Don't. Burn. Anything.
Vesana: Jeez, you could be grateful that I'm cooking at all!
Seriously Vesa I'm warning you...
Bronson: All I need is a cheesy apron and a stupid hat and I'll be the best dad stereotype of all!
What's up with the burger grilling, guys?
And what's up with THAT, Del?
Ida: I've created something wonderful.
Vesana: You've created something all right.
Ida: Shut up Vesa, no-one likes a whiner.
Del: OOOGABOOGA
Lexie: It's nice out here...ooh-ooh! It's just me myself and I! And my cake! Cakey, cakey, you're the one-
Ditch that hunk of blue sugariness because Ida just booked our vacation.
Lexie: And we're going like right now? I swear that's not how vacations work.
Vesana: Uhm...I definitely had a phone here...
Matt: Heehee!
Vesana: Matt....
Quinton's arm: Feature me! I've not been in the chapter yet!
Dude I'm like, what, seven screenshots in? You'll get your turn if you're interesting enough.
Del: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's SUPERMAN!
Ida: I don't think Superman exists in this universe...or maybe not any universe.
Bronson: Far out.
Quinton's toe: Come on! I'm right here! FEATURE ME!
Lexie: Yes! Vesa! Watch my vid!
Quinton: Nah, she's over here hanging out with her favourite person.
Vesana: Aw, you are sweet- TELL NO-ONE!
Ida and Del: WHAT'S THIS IN MY FACE?
Lexie: Missed! Again! Oh why don't I ever win...
Hot Ranger Dude: Hello there Miss, is there anything I can help you with?
Lexie: K maybe I don't always lose out...
Matt: Well Leroy and I have granola!
Lexie: SHUT UP WORM.
(Note: Ranger got culled that night, lol)
(Note: Ranger got culled that night, lol)
Quinton: Vesa I really think I could help you get in touch with your 'feeling' side.
Vesana: Don't push it child.
Hot Ranger: Aha, oh yes, and then Brad climbed right up the tree-
Lexie: Ohhhh yes.
Del: LEX? LEXIE! PLAY WITH ME! PLAAAAY!
Lexie: Shut up, slug!
Del: Why am I-?
Lexie: Worm is taken, now let me have my convo!
Lexie: I'm very good at...games, if you know what I mean.
Hot Ranger: Duuuuude, yeah! No-one will ever beat me at horseshoes, but you seem to be getting pretty good!
Bronson: I feel like I should do the whole protective male role model thing now that her dad is dead but tbh I don't care.
Ida: You're making me work on 'vacation'. I can't believe it.
One painting woman! This is your next aspiration! Please do ONE. Then we can have fun.
Hot Ranger: So...so, Lexie, right? You seem to have a- uhhhh- lovely family.
Vesana: I'm going to get you you little brat! You told distant-relation-Frank that I care for our brother! HOW COULD YOU?
Matt: Get me if you want, I'll sick Leroy on you!
Vesana: LEROY AIN'T REAL.
Lexie: Hehe...hehehehe...
Del: I'M the one who never wins! At least Lexie is talking to a hot ranger!
Quinton: Girl, we're like seven. Do I have to be protective already?
Del: UGH, Quint, can you not?
Bronson: Again, I feel like I should do the whole protective male role-
Del: SHUT UP. Both of you!
Matt: DON'T F*CKING TOUCH LEROY. He's sensitive.
Vesana: Look at me CARE, brat!
Vesana: Well...look who can tell distant-relation Frank about summat now, huh?
Matt: Silly silly. You don't have distant-relation Frank in your relationship panel.
Del: Yeah, yeah, hurry it up, I know you're only hugging me to troll Vesa.
Hot Ranger: Yeah, of course I can sing! You wanna hear?
Lexie: I'd take part in anything to do with your lips...
Matt: Quinton unless you want Leroy to break your face you're going to move.
Quinton: Why...why are you smiling?
Matt: No reason. No reason at all. Just...my imagination running away with me a little.
Hot Ranger: Why so silent?
Lexie:...'Cos you're listening to this and not running off, so you're clearly too good to be true.
Vesana: Soooo...why is little Miss loner Lexie talking it up with the guy in the dumb hat?
Lexie: Vesa...don't talk to him.
Vesana: Well he is a YA and too old for you.
Lexie: I age up in six days. Just don't ruin anything.
Vesana: Oh come on, why would I ruin anything? If anyone's ruining something, it's the kids. Or Mum. Or Dad. Knock yourself out, I'm not your wingwoman, bye.
Ida: I just SOLD a picture.
OK, having you lot stuck in the campground is a breeding place for your stupidity. Time to travel!
Ida: I got it! I GOT IT!
Whatever poor sucker of a bug she just caught: Haaaalp...meeee....
Ida: MEHEHEHEHEHE
Oh God, Galactus's family are here. Real nice, Gal, dragging your heavily pregnant wife out to the woods.
Quinton: This glass of water is nearly as big as my head.
....
Quinton: I LIKE IT.
Obvious grasshopper: I'M HERE. CATCH ME. CATCH ME. I AM NOT OBVIOUS AND NEON GREEN AT ALL.
Quinton: Don't touch me without PERMISSION, twin!
Del: But I'm your twin...
Vesana: Sooo...Lex...*mental nudge*
Lexie: OMG shut up Vesa.
Ida's off to collect bugs...and I zoomed over to her and she's doing this.
I have zero caption ideas... I just had to show it b/c she's being so freaking weird.
Kylie: Yooooo...change my freaking outfit.
Yeah...no.
Quinton: I'm serious Del!
Del: OK what.
Bronson and Lexie: Uhm.
Del: You dare facepalm before me? HULK SMASH!
Bronson: *stares off into the distance* They were the chosen ones...
Lexie: Seriously what.
Quinton: I propose we sick these terrifying flying red things on Matt!
Vesana: Liking the way you think, kid. Get 'em out for me and it's a deal. I knew you were my fave for a reason.
Del: *clears throat* Well, well...the mighty evil Vesa...
Vesana: Child. Please. Don't act like you can do ANYTHING 'gainst me...
Del: Fine. But I shall always have the power of my knowledge.
Quinton: Sisters, sisters, let's not argue-!
Vesana: Shut up Quinton or I'm sicking these things on you.
Quinton: There's a price to pay for being your favourite, isn't there?
Matt: Leroy and I like to burn things.
Lexie: ...Where's my other hat?
Valentina: Yoooo.
Found the hermit.
Ida:...And my son just burned my sister's hat, Val...I'm not sure if I should be proud...?
Valentina: Woman I'm busy why are you still talking to me?
Ida: C'mon, Val. Lemme rant at ya.
Valentina: I don't like you!
Back at the campsite...
Matt: DON'T TOUCH ME MOTHAF*CKA!
Del: What the hell is wrong with you all.
Kylie: And a cup for my child....*spits*
Matt: I WILL BURN YOUR GLASSES!
Quinton: Eep! NO!
Quinton: I shall put crab eyes in your food!
Matt: What on earth, idiot, there ain't no crabs here!
Vesana: Food? Food! FOOOOOOD!
Guess who's back, back again? The pink is back, back again.
Nathanial: Yeeeah...I hate you.
Vesana: This is healthy...right?
Ida: Let's just pretend OK.
Ida: Soooo...apparently we found your weak point, daughter.
Vesana: Hehehe...Deeeeeell...
Vesana: Eh. He's better than Matt and Del.
Ida: OK...damn you put way too much sugar on these.
Vesana: You HAVE to admit I'm the best though.
Ida: Weeeeelll...I gotta consider myself first.
RIP Gabby. She was Noah's kid, and is survived by her daughter Ellie and her twin Ana.
This is Jarvis, Nathanial's kid. (Real nice, Nat, real nice. Going off into the woods while your son is being born). The point is that he's a BLUE ALIEN (girl with the Leia hair, we now know what you're hiding). The pink will continue through him, and it'll be on a different skin tone! Yay!
Quinton: This is nasty...
Matt: Brother, you said you'd go first.
Quinton: Maaattt...
Matt: Go, dammit.
Matt: Would you kill for a cupcake?
Quinton: I'll pass, thanks...
Quinton: Yeesh.
Pietro's son died.
RIP Rene/Evil Kid.
Vesana: Come, favourite.
Quinton: Sorry, Matty, you were good until she woke up.
Vesana: QUINTON.
Matt: *raises eyebrows*
Quinton: Fine, fine! Later, Matt. Coming Vesa!
Matt:Forever alone. Fine then.
Quinton: Haha. We're having so much fun.
Vesana: *stares off into distance and giggles to herself*
Matt: *eyebrows move into hairline*
RIP Gamora. :(. She leaves behind two daughters and one son, both as green and crazy as their mother.
GRIM WHAT EVEN THE FREAK.
Grim: What? Can't a soul reaper go on a relaxing camping weekend? Don't discriminate. By the way, I'mma be thankful for that green alien soul I just got.
Don't drive it in any harder man!
Quinton: Yay! Bonding with Vesa time!
Vesana: Listen to me veerrrry carefully, 'kay Quinton? I'm going to give you some very detailed instructions. And set up a new eBay account for me, why don't you? I don't want this stuff tracked to my normal one.
Matt: I feel as if I should be afraid for my life.
Mariana: F*CK YOU GALACTUS'S CHILD.
Yeah...Galactus isn't even here. It's just his wife and eldest son who are here (Nat, the pink dude, who doesn't even live with Gal and Mariana). What's up with that? I'm not saying she's sleeping with her stepson but it looks like she's sleeping with her stepson.
Bronson: Aren't our kids gonna sleep in there?
Ida: I'll lay down a tarp, now come on in.
Matt: There's a whole nice campsite that was built specially for this yet I'm lying next to a bin! I RULE.
Yeah, screw you guys. Ida and Bronson are the only people hanging around there (which is why I let them WooHoo in the tent; I would NOT have done that if the kids were around).
Del: I need the loo!
Bear bitch: Walk around me you little crap.
Branson's son, Spencer. That is one jacked up tree....how did this happen?
Also, the game decided that all the supposedly dead people, apart from the ones who died on our lot, are now undead icons on the tree.
Ugh, freaking game.
Del got attacked by the public loo bugs.
Bear bitch: Don't look at me like that, boy! It was hard to be this bear-ish! I mean, the Amazon delivery time? AND I HAD PRIME TOO.
Matt: Woooow. I respect you.
Quinton: What the hell, Matt...and whoever's in there get out!
The male bathroom has been occupied for ages. Methinks someone got food poisoning.
Bear bitch: RAWR!
Vesana: Oh f*ck off. *rolls over and keeps sleeping*
Yeah, there's something up with the male bathroom. The girls are all fine.
So national park time.
Aw look, Quinton roasts a marshmallow.
Quinton: It looks like a massive sugar cube.
And Matt wet himself. I didn't get a picture, but he did. *sigh* -5.
Chester: Fabulous.
Right in front of the stairs, Lexie, way to be an a-hole.
Del: I will step on your face.
Bronson: Oh Ida. I know you love me. The derp-face and pink love-magic rushing out of your head told me so!
This is the most terrifying clipping I've ever seen...the two sets of lips, the resignation to death in what remains of Vesa's eye, the calmness of Ida's eye...what's up with that Ida?
Vesana: Hey Lexiiiiie.
Lexie: Oh God, what do you want?
Vesana: Why nothing dear Auntie! Can't I just come over and say hi?
Lexie: Not when you're you you can't.
Dina: AH! I sense a bear!
Bear bitch: Relax, dummy. It's just me...a very sad, lonely person. OHHHH GOD I'M SO ALO-OH-OH-OH-ONNNNE.
Dina:...Please never speak to me again.
Bear bitch: Figures. That's what they all say.
Galactus's daughter.
*sigh*
Del: Faster daddy, faster! Now slam your face in the soil!
Hooray, +5.
Another Ida story is about to begin!...Guys, guys...?
Lexie: Oh look. It's a picture of a butterfly. I shall stare at it until everything is over.
Quinton: There are bugs everywhere.
Del: Plots with Vesana backfiring?
Quinton:...Shut up Del.
Bronson: I love it when you kids get along!
Quinton: Dad do you have ears anymore?
Bronson: GO... WIFE? That's you right Inez?
Quinton: Dad her name is Ida.
Lexie: BOO! BOO! Tell me about his hat! Who wants all that plot stuff?
Matt: I can't feel my face...I can't feel anything.
Del: O__O
Matt: What did I miss?
Quinton: Everything, bro, everything.
Bronson: Ohhhhh! I have children!
Quinton: Dad, you're not allowed to be senile yet. STAHP.
Bronson: And then the handsome, strong man stole the lamp-!
Quinton: I'mma take a step back.
Matt: Maybe the bowl will help me escape this hell.
Lexie: I have ceased to feel anything.
Del: What can you do with crushed soda cans and a lot of determination?
Matt: Oh...oh yeah. Can I have one to fix Leroy?
Del: None left. If anyone gets cuts on their feet I did nothing.
Bronson: Oh right... I remember EVERYTHING! I'm cool now!
Quinton: Shouldn't've forgotten in the first place dad.
Ida: Oh. You do care!
Bronson: I can show you how much I care once we get back to the tents.
Vesana: ...
Ida: Yes, my love, and we shall engage in the high arts of boning!
Bronson: *swoon*
Quinton: I didn't need to be here. And you didn't need to do that. Why.
Matt: Leroy! Don't fart!
Matt.
This may be partly my fault, but there were a bunch of benches, he could've had a nap. Idiot.
Quinton: I wish I was somewhere else. I- I- I can hear everything. For the first time I envy Matt.
Matt: *snore*
Vesana deals with it better...or maybe not.
Vesana: My parents are WooHooing right next to me! Selfie time.
Lexie: I like to smile and hope it goes away. That's been my whole life in a nutshell, really.
This is what I call being an a-hole, Del. You can stargaze anywhere, yet you choose to block the only shower and toilet in this campground.
And this is what I call being dumb, Vesana. Why won't you sleep in the tent?
Vesana: *snaps awake* YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY! *falls straight back asleep*
Dead Kezia descendant. Saw him as a child, he was suitably traumatised given his home at the time, he leaves behind two kids. Pretty Kira and some other guy. Think he has a wife and two stepkids as well.
Other Kezia descendant's son married Bronson's mother.
Steve's son married an old woman.
Sel's granddaughter got married.
Matt: Yo. Time to age up.
What the heck, he's a teen now?
Oh God. Vesana. She's the only who won't sleep in the tent.
Vesana: Not waking myself up again.
Well ya just did so NEH.
Stringbean Matt. He has the freelance botanist aspiration and the Geek trait, on top of Evil.
Matt cooking. It's not like Lexie already prepared some Excellent quality grilled fruit.
Eveline! Why...why were you alive so long? I know you had one pregnancy and were active...but still. Easton died four chapters ago. She leaves behind her husband and her two sons.
Matt again. I'm proud of his outfit, I like the Movie Hangout clothes for men.
Bronson: My son's cardigan pains me.
Matt: I'm not listening to you. I'm busy being in pain over your ageing.
Yeah, Bronson doesn't make a very good-looking adult. The years have not been kind to him.
Matt: And pain over several other things.
Bronson: I can be a BEAR.
Lexie and Del are really classy ladies, as you see here.
Death: Ugh. What can one do to get a bed around here?
You're freaking camping.
Death: I HATE TENTS.
Bronson: HEEHEEHEEHEHEEEEEEEEE
Matt: Must...not...punch...
Bronson: I AM EEEEEVIL.
Matt: Stay strong, Matt. Stay strong.
Grim: FOOLISH MOSQUITOS! How dare you plague me, and while I try to use the little reaper's room in this way? I could take your tiny flappy souls at aaaaaany time.
Death camping. I'm having too much fun with this.
Sadly he left soon after.
Del: Go any closer and I chop you mothaf*cker!
Quinton: It's just that there's a bug on your shirt...
I decided that Ida should bond with her youngest children.
Quinton: Mum, what's the black bunch of grapes on these?
(Real childhood thought of mine, was never voiced though)
Ida: This was a bad idea.
Ida: *sigh* OK Quinton. We call that 'clubs'.
Quinton: Clubs? Why can't it be TRAINS?!
Del: I wanna be somewhere else...anywhere but here...
Del: Wait, another bunch of grapes card? COME ON.
Ida: Ha..haha...none of you ever listen to me anymore do you?
Quinton: No-one ever did.
Ida: QUINTON'S CHEATING.
Quinton: You're looking down straight at my cards and I'M CHEATING WOMAN?
Matt: I'm doing my homework without any focusing decor around and Dad's failing at grasping his hotdog. Who wins?
Bronson: I DO. Cos I have a hotdog!
Del: COME BACK.
Ida: NO.
Del: Just 'cos you lost...!
Ida: SHUT UP!
Hey Aubrey...where's your wife?
Aubrey: Hip replacement. Lorna and I are hanging out in the meantime.
Lorna: I'll warm my hands for later, k?
Lorna: Let's do some pillow talk tonight...
(I hate myself for making that reference).
Aubrey: Uh, yeah, I actually have to go, do my filing, and my hair...
Lexie: If you don't tell me where the other ranger went...
Ranger: He quitgot culled. Now piss off.
Lexie: Look, lady, tell me where he went. He was supposed to be the ONLY part of this vacation that would be bearable.
Ranger: But you've got your family around you! Your sister, her husband, your nieces and nephews. You don't need that guy around to have a fun time!
Lexie: Did you just-?
Grim: Guess who's back, back again...
Vesana: Pictured: The face of my future best friend.
Ranger: They seem...ahem...lovely.
Lexie: Just. Shut. Up.
Bear bitch #2: And no-one understands me...
Lexie: I know. It's like, when I was a kid everyone ignored me whenever I said the word penguin. I LOVED THOSE FREAKING BIRDS. It's just not FAIR, bear!
Bear bitch #2: I know. Life isn't fair, kid.
Ida: *laughs maniacally* You promised.
I'm sorry.
Ida: No you're freaking not. I know you did this to see if we could make more genetic mixes.
(So I put Risky WooHoo up to about 20%...)
Well...
Ida: I'll have five kids, woman! FIVE. Are you kidding me?
Sorry.
Ida: Fix this.
I'm not going to do that...
Bronson: I thought you were just fat...
Ida: Shut up.
I ended the vacation there because I cannot be asked to have whiny pregnant Ida in the woods, also I want everyone to do their jobs and stuff tomorrow.
Next time the new baby is born and Lexie might move out.
Ida: You're making me work on 'vacation'. I can't believe it.
One painting woman! This is your next aspiration! Please do ONE. Then we can have fun.
Hot Ranger: So...so, Lexie, right? You seem to have a- uhhhh- lovely family.
Vesana: I'm going to get you you little brat! You told distant-relation-Frank that I care for our brother! HOW COULD YOU?
Matt: Get me if you want, I'll sick Leroy on you!
Vesana: LEROY AIN'T REAL.
Lexie: Hehe...hehehehe...
Del: I'M the one who never wins! At least Lexie is talking to a hot ranger!
Quinton: Girl, we're like seven. Do I have to be protective already?
Del: UGH, Quint, can you not?
Bronson: Again, I feel like I should do the whole protective male role-
Del: SHUT UP. Both of you!
Matt: DON'T F*CKING TOUCH LEROY. He's sensitive.
Vesana: Look at me CARE, brat!
Vesana: Well...look who can tell distant-relation Frank about summat now, huh?
Matt: Silly silly. You don't have distant-relation Frank in your relationship panel.
Del: Yeah, yeah, hurry it up, I know you're only hugging me to troll Vesa.
Hot Ranger: Yeah, of course I can sing! You wanna hear?
Lexie: I'd take part in anything to do with your lips...
Matt: Quinton unless you want Leroy to break your face you're going to move.
Quinton: Why...why are you smiling?
Matt: No reason. No reason at all. Just...my imagination running away with me a little.
Hot Ranger: Why so silent?
Lexie:...'Cos you're listening to this and not running off, so you're clearly too good to be true.
Vesana: Soooo...why is little Miss loner Lexie talking it up with the guy in the dumb hat?
Lexie: Vesa...don't talk to him.
Vesana: Well he is a YA and too old for you.
Lexie: I age up in six days. Just don't ruin anything.
Vesana: Oh come on, why would I ruin anything? If anyone's ruining something, it's the kids. Or Mum. Or Dad. Knock yourself out, I'm not your wingwoman, bye.
Ida: I just SOLD a picture.
OK, having you lot stuck in the campground is a breeding place for your stupidity. Time to travel!
Ida: I got it! I GOT IT!
Whatever poor sucker of a bug she just caught: Haaaalp...meeee....
Ida: MEHEHEHEHEHE
Oh God, Galactus's family are here. Real nice, Gal, dragging your heavily pregnant wife out to the woods.
Quinton: This glass of water is nearly as big as my head.
....
Quinton: I LIKE IT.
Obvious grasshopper: I'M HERE. CATCH ME. CATCH ME. I AM NOT OBVIOUS AND NEON GREEN AT ALL.
Quinton: Don't touch me without PERMISSION, twin!
Del: But I'm your twin...
Vesana: Sooo...Lex...*mental nudge*
Lexie: OMG shut up Vesa.
Ida's off to collect bugs...and I zoomed over to her and she's doing this.
I have zero caption ideas... I just had to show it b/c she's being so freaking weird.
Kylie: Yooooo...change my freaking outfit.
Yeah...no.
Quinton: I'm serious Del!
Del: OK what.
Bronson and Lexie: Uhm.
Del: You dare facepalm before me? HULK SMASH!
Bronson: *stares off into the distance* They were the chosen ones...
Lexie: Seriously what.
Quinton: I propose we sick these terrifying flying red things on Matt!
Vesana: Liking the way you think, kid. Get 'em out for me and it's a deal. I knew you were my fave for a reason.
Del: *clears throat* Well, well...the mighty evil Vesa...
Vesana: Child. Please. Don't act like you can do ANYTHING 'gainst me...
Del: Fine. But I shall always have the power of my knowledge.
Quinton: Sisters, sisters, let's not argue-!
Vesana: Shut up Quinton or I'm sicking these things on you.
Quinton: There's a price to pay for being your favourite, isn't there?
Matt: Leroy and I like to burn things.
Lexie: ...Where's my other hat?
Valentina: Yoooo.
Found the hermit.
Ida:...And my son just burned my sister's hat, Val...I'm not sure if I should be proud...?
Valentina: Woman I'm busy why are you still talking to me?
Ida: C'mon, Val. Lemme rant at ya.
Valentina: I don't like you!
Back at the campsite...
Matt: DON'T TOUCH ME MOTHAF*CKA!
Del: What the hell is wrong with you all.
Kylie: And a cup for my child....*spits*
Matt: I WILL BURN YOUR GLASSES!
Quinton: Eep! NO!
Quinton: I shall put crab eyes in your food!
Matt: What on earth, idiot, there ain't no crabs here!
Vesana: Food? Food! FOOOOOOD!
Guess who's back, back again? The pink is back, back again.
Nathanial: Yeeeah...I hate you.
Vesana: This is healthy...right?
Ida: Let's just pretend OK.
Ida: Soooo...apparently we found your weak point, daughter.
Vesana: Hehehe...Deeeeeell...
Vesana: Eh. He's better than Matt and Del.
Ida: OK...damn you put way too much sugar on these.
Vesana: You HAVE to admit I'm the best though.
Ida: Weeeeelll...I gotta consider myself first.
RIP Gabby. She was Noah's kid, and is survived by her daughter Ellie and her twin Ana.
This is Jarvis, Nathanial's kid. (Real nice, Nat, real nice. Going off into the woods while your son is being born). The point is that he's a BLUE ALIEN (girl with the Leia hair, we now know what you're hiding). The pink will continue through him, and it'll be on a different skin tone! Yay!
Quinton: This is nasty...
Matt: Brother, you said you'd go first.
Quinton: Maaattt...
Matt: Go, dammit.
Matt: Would you kill for a cupcake?
Quinton: I'll pass, thanks...
Quinton: Yeesh.
Pietro's son died.
RIP Rene/Evil Kid.
Vesana: Come, favourite.
Quinton: Sorry, Matty, you were good until she woke up.
Vesana: QUINTON.
Matt: *raises eyebrows*
Quinton: Fine, fine! Later, Matt. Coming Vesa!
Matt:
Quinton: Haha. We're having so much fun.
Vesana: *stares off into distance and giggles to herself*
Matt: *eyebrows move into hairline*
RIP Gamora. :(. She leaves behind two daughters and one son, both as green and crazy as their mother.
GRIM WHAT EVEN THE FREAK.
Grim: What? Can't a soul reaper go on a relaxing camping weekend? Don't discriminate. By the way, I'mma be thankful for that green alien soul I just got.
Don't drive it in any harder man!
Quinton: Yay! Bonding with Vesa time!
Vesana: Listen to me veerrrry carefully, 'kay Quinton? I'm going to give you some very detailed instructions. And set up a new eBay account for me, why don't you? I don't want this stuff tracked to my normal one.
Matt: I feel as if I should be afraid for my life.
Mariana: F*CK YOU GALACTUS'S CHILD.
Yeah...Galactus isn't even here. It's just his wife and eldest son who are here (Nat, the pink dude, who doesn't even live with Gal and Mariana). What's up with that? I'm not saying she's sleeping with her stepson but it looks like she's sleeping with her stepson.
Bronson: Aren't our kids gonna sleep in there?
Ida: I'll lay down a tarp, now come on in.
Matt: There's a whole nice campsite that was built specially for this yet I'm lying next to a bin! I RULE.
Yeah, screw you guys. Ida and Bronson are the only people hanging around there (which is why I let them WooHoo in the tent; I would NOT have done that if the kids were around).
Del: I need the loo!
Bear bitch: Walk around me you little crap.
Branson's son, Spencer. That is one jacked up tree....how did this happen?
Also, the game decided that all the supposedly dead people, apart from the ones who died on our lot, are now undead icons on the tree.
Ugh, freaking game.
Del got attacked by the public loo bugs.
Bear bitch: Don't look at me like that, boy! It was hard to be this bear-ish! I mean, the Amazon delivery time? AND I HAD PRIME TOO.
Matt: Woooow. I respect you.
Quinton: What the hell, Matt...and whoever's in there get out!
The male bathroom has been occupied for ages. Methinks someone got food poisoning.
Bear bitch: RAWR!
Vesana: Oh f*ck off. *rolls over and keeps sleeping*
Yeah, there's something up with the male bathroom. The girls are all fine.
So national park time.
Aw look, Quinton roasts a marshmallow.
Quinton: It looks like a massive sugar cube.
And Matt wet himself. I didn't get a picture, but he did. *sigh* -5.
Chester: Fabulous.
Right in front of the stairs, Lexie, way to be an a-hole.
Del: I will step on your face.
Bronson: Oh Ida. I know you love me. The derp-face and pink love-magic rushing out of your head told me so!
This is the most terrifying clipping I've ever seen...the two sets of lips, the resignation to death in what remains of Vesa's eye, the calmness of Ida's eye...what's up with that Ida?
Vesana: Hey Lexiiiiie.
Lexie: Oh God, what do you want?
Vesana: Why nothing dear Auntie! Can't I just come over and say hi?
Lexie: Not when you're you you can't.
Dina: AH! I sense a bear!
Bear bitch: Relax, dummy. It's just me...a very sad, lonely person. OHHHH GOD I'M SO ALO-OH-OH-OH-ONNNNE.
Dina:...Please never speak to me again.
Bear bitch: Figures. That's what they all say.
Galactus's daughter.
*sigh*
Del: Faster daddy, faster! Now slam your face in the soil!
Hooray, +5.
Another Ida story is about to begin!...Guys, guys...?
Lexie: Oh look. It's a picture of a butterfly. I shall stare at it until everything is over.
Quinton: There are bugs everywhere.
Del: Plots with Vesana backfiring?
Quinton:...Shut up Del.
Bronson: I love it when you kids get along!
Quinton: Dad do you have ears anymore?
Bronson: GO... WIFE? That's you right Inez?
Quinton: Dad her name is Ida.
Lexie: BOO! BOO! Tell me about his hat! Who wants all that plot stuff?
Matt: I can't feel my face...I can't feel anything.
Del: O__O
Matt: What did I miss?
Quinton: Everything, bro, everything.
Bronson: Ohhhhh! I have children!
Quinton: Dad, you're not allowed to be senile yet. STAHP.
Bronson: And then the handsome, strong man stole the lamp-!
Quinton: I'mma take a step back.
Matt: Maybe the bowl will help me escape this hell.
Lexie: I have ceased to feel anything.
Del: What can you do with crushed soda cans and a lot of determination?
Matt: Oh...oh yeah. Can I have one to fix Leroy?
Del: None left. If anyone gets cuts on their feet I did nothing.
Bronson: Oh right... I remember EVERYTHING! I'm cool now!
Quinton: Shouldn't've forgotten in the first place dad.
Ida: Oh. You do care!
Bronson: I can show you how much I care once we get back to the tents.
Vesana: ...
Ida: Yes, my love, and we shall engage in the high arts of boning!
Bronson: *swoon*
Quinton: I didn't need to be here. And you didn't need to do that. Why.
Matt: Leroy! Don't fart!
Matt.
This may be partly my fault, but there were a bunch of benches, he could've had a nap. Idiot.
Quinton: I wish I was somewhere else. I- I- I can hear everything. For the first time I envy Matt.
Matt: *snore*
Vesana deals with it better...or maybe not.
Vesana: My parents are WooHooing right next to me! Selfie time.
Lexie: I like to smile and hope it goes away. That's been my whole life in a nutshell, really.
This is what I call being an a-hole, Del. You can stargaze anywhere, yet you choose to block the only shower and toilet in this campground.
And this is what I call being dumb, Vesana. Why won't you sleep in the tent?
Vesana: *snaps awake* YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY! *falls straight back asleep*
Dead Kezia descendant. Saw him as a child, he was suitably traumatised given his home at the time, he leaves behind two kids. Pretty Kira and some other guy. Think he has a wife and two stepkids as well.
Other Kezia descendant's son married Bronson's mother.
Steve's son married an old woman.
Sel's granddaughter got married.
Matt: Yo. Time to age up.
What the heck, he's a teen now?
Oh God. Vesana. She's the only who won't sleep in the tent.
Vesana: Not waking myself up again.
Well ya just did so NEH.
Stringbean Matt. He has the freelance botanist aspiration and the Geek trait, on top of Evil.
Matt cooking. It's not like Lexie already prepared some Excellent quality grilled fruit.
Eveline! Why...why were you alive so long? I know you had one pregnancy and were active...but still. Easton died four chapters ago. She leaves behind her husband and her two sons.
Matt again. I'm proud of his outfit, I like the Movie Hangout clothes for men.
Bronson: My son's cardigan pains me.
Matt: I'm not listening to you. I'm busy being in pain over your ageing.
Yeah, Bronson doesn't make a very good-looking adult. The years have not been kind to him.
Matt: And pain over several other things.
Bronson: I can be a BEAR.
Lexie and Del are really classy ladies, as you see here.
Death: Ugh. What can one do to get a bed around here?
You're freaking camping.
Death: I HATE TENTS.
Bronson: HEEHEEHEEHEHEEEEEEEEE
Matt: Must...not...punch...
Bronson: I AM EEEEEVIL.
Matt: Stay strong, Matt. Stay strong.
Grim: FOOLISH MOSQUITOS! How dare you plague me, and while I try to use the little reaper's room in this way? I could take your tiny flappy souls at aaaaaany time.
Death camping. I'm having too much fun with this.
Sadly he left soon after.
Del: Go any closer and I chop you mothaf*cker!
Quinton: It's just that there's a bug on your shirt...
I decided that Ida should bond with her youngest children.
Quinton: Mum, what's the black bunch of grapes on these?
(Real childhood thought of mine, was never voiced though)
Ida: This was a bad idea.
Ida: *sigh* OK Quinton. We call that 'clubs'.
Quinton: Clubs? Why can't it be TRAINS?!
Del: I wanna be somewhere else...anywhere but here...
Del: Wait, another bunch of grapes card? COME ON.
Ida: Ha..haha...none of you ever listen to me anymore do you?
Quinton: No-one ever did.
Ida: QUINTON'S CHEATING.
Quinton: You're looking down straight at my cards and I'M CHEATING WOMAN?
Matt: I'm doing my homework without any focusing decor around and Dad's failing at grasping his hotdog. Who wins?
Bronson: I DO. Cos I have a hotdog!
Del: COME BACK.
Ida: NO.
Del: Just 'cos you lost...!
Ida: SHUT UP!
Hey Aubrey...where's your wife?
Aubrey: Hip replacement. Lorna and I are hanging out in the meantime.
Lorna: I'll warm my hands for later, k?
Lorna: Let's do some pillow talk tonight...
(I hate myself for making that reference).
Aubrey: Uh, yeah, I actually have to go, do my filing, and my hair...
Lexie: If you don't tell me where the other ranger went...
Ranger: He quit
Lexie: Look, lady, tell me where he went. He was supposed to be the ONLY part of this vacation that would be bearable.
Ranger: But you've got your family around you! Your sister, her husband, your nieces and nephews. You don't need that guy around to have a fun time!
Lexie: Did you just-?
Grim: Guess who's back, back again...
Vesana: Pictured: The face of my future best friend.
Ranger: They seem...ahem...lovely.
Lexie: Just. Shut. Up.
Bear bitch #2: And no-one understands me...
Lexie: I know. It's like, when I was a kid everyone ignored me whenever I said the word penguin. I LOVED THOSE FREAKING BIRDS. It's just not FAIR, bear!
Bear bitch #2: I know. Life isn't fair, kid.
Ida: *laughs maniacally* You promised.
I'm sorry.
Ida: No you're freaking not. I know you did this to see if we could make more genetic mixes.
(So I put Risky WooHoo up to about 20%...)
Well...
Ida: I'll have five kids, woman! FIVE. Are you kidding me?
Sorry.
Ida: Fix this.
I'm not going to do that...
Bronson: I thought you were just fat...
Ida: Shut up.
I ended the vacation there because I cannot be asked to have whiny pregnant Ida in the woods, also I want everyone to do their jobs and stuff tomorrow.
Next time the new baby is born and Lexie might move out.
Score Sheet- 125
Single Births (13) +65
Twin Births (3) +30
Aspiration Tiers (42) +210
Aspiration (5) +50
Grade A (3) +15
Randomising everything for 1 gen (3) +30
Every 100,000 simoleons (2) +40
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Pass Out (55) -275
Self Wetting (13) -65
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